03 January 2005

A new crassness for TV

Sometime yesterday during my flurry of penpalling, an ad came on the screen advertising the newest in tasteless FOX reality shows. I didn't pay it much mind, other than to think "okay, that's really fucked up." But I figured it would be some sappy romantic one like the stupid "Who Wants to Marry My Dad" thing they had. Finding love, finding reconnection-- okay, sappy and syrupy, but kinda sweet in a way. And as an adopted child myself, I can appreciate such a feel-good sort of show.

But today, I saw the rest of the premise of the show, and my ire came up. Because it's just completely disgusting.

I'm talking about tonight's "special" on FOX called "Who's My Daddy."

Don't let the title fool you. It's not to be confused with Yankees fans taunting Pedro Martinez during Red Sox-Yankees playoff games. The premise of this show sinks to a new low that even "The Swan," in its horrifying glamorizing of all things superficial and encouraging the self-loathing of women with flaws (translation: everyone) everywhere, can't reach. Because "Who's My Daddy" sinks into the level of who someone *is* and where they come from, rather than what they look like.

The premise of the show goes like this: A young woman who was adopted as a baby is searching for her biological father. Over time, much in (what I imagine) will be Bachellor-like fashion, she'll get to know eight men who are potentially her dad. At the end of it, she has to choose which one she thinks is her biological father. If she's right, she wins a $100,000 prize. If she picks wrong, the man she picked wins the $100,000 prize.

Seriously-- how utterly disgusting is this?

Said woman picks a man, who has been trying to get close to her and make her think he's her father. Only to do a "sorry-- you lose! No dad for you!" And what is sicker, is if there is ANY honesty in this program? The woman's long-lost biological father is suppsedly THERE. And not telling her that he is her father (if he knows). But the producers in theory would know. What sick fucks would do such a thing to someone who doesn't know her own biological past?

Not that FOX had much decency anyway-- but this is just horrifying. Kudos to the affiliate who decided to dump this garbage and instead show something meaningful and introspective on adoption.

I mean, honestly. I could see the potential hook for getting this woman to do the program. I can see this right here, and even I, in my extreme distaste for reality TV, might have bought it hook, line, and sinker....

Producer: Melissa, we'd like you to be on a new reality show dealing with adoption.

Me: O-kay (skeptical)

Producer: What would happen is showing an adoptee's discovery of her biological heritage over six programs. The searching, the leads, the close-but-misses in connections, etc. Show what the search is really about.

Me: But I'm not searching for my biological parents right now.

Producer: No? Well, that's the great part-- see, we'll help you find your biological father. And after going through the experience, with our help, we hope that at the end, the two of you will be reunited.

Me: Interesting.

Producer: It's a fantastic story. Lots of feel good-ness and tremendous drama. It makes for a great show for us, and a personal celebration of discovery for you.

Me: Yeah, it would.

Producer: So? Would you be interested?



If approached in some fashion like this, I'd fall for it in a second. I don't deny it at all. I'd be that weak, because under every closed adoption child's armor is at least a little shred of "Where did I come from?" curiosity. It's stronger in some people than other, but it's always there. It's human nature to know who gave birth to you, who you resemble, etc. I've often wondered whose eyes I got or whose hair, for example. These traits are passed down and easy to see if there's a similarity. I also wonder about the hidden ones-- genetic diseases that I might be a carrier of, or things I'm at greater risk for. Medical history? What medical history? You're looking at the human extent of it. Right here.

Honestly-- I'm not looking for my biological parents... yet. I have tossed the idea around off and on for years, usually throwing it into the "I'll look when I have a child of my own" bin by the end of the round. But it's one of those things where I'd love to meet them, yet at the same time, I'm scared of the potential of rejection as well. I've heard the horror stories of adoptees trying to find their biological mothers, only to have doors literally slammed on their face or where after two or three visits, the mother wants no more contact. It would be heartbreaking.

Now imagine being set up where you'd not only have just missed the chance at meeting your biological parent, but are also playing a FUCKING GAME SHOW for said humiliation.

Ick. Talk about dangling carrots in the most obscene form imagineable.

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