31 January 2005

Yes, the conservatives are winning...

You know, I have to hand it to them... they have a well-oiled machine going. They've roped in two people who I used to love reading online (Ethne and Hooligan), who now condemn anything left-leaning as Michael Moore loving (yeah, it was an interesting documentary and finally got the left to feel unafraid to express themselves in this nation... Moore-specific haters, get over yourselves), whining, and childish (ignoring their own faults, of course) and have turned their previously wonderful live-and-let live selves into quite saddening renditions of everything I fear from the right.

Here's why many of us who lean left fight like hell to be heard. Here's why we have been fighting against Bush, who is the poster child for the things we are afraid of in this nation. We fight because our fears are being realized. Remember-- if it's said enough times by the current administration, it MUST be true, right?

Enjoy it while it lasts, folks-- unless these kids get a smack of reality come college, we're heading down the road the Christian Coalition wants us to, covered up Liberty Breasts and all...

    Source: CNN

    Freedom of what?

    First amendment no big deal, students say

    Monday, January 31, 2005 Posted: 11:38 AM EST (1638 GMT)

    WASHINGTON (AP) -- The way many high school students see it, government censorship of newspapers may not be a bad thing, and flag burning is hardly protected free speech.

    It turns out the First Amendment is a second-rate issue to many of those nearing their own adult independence, according to a study of high school attitudes released Monday.

    The original amendment to the Constitution is the cornerstone of the way of life in the United States, promising citizens the freedoms of religion, speech, press and assembly.

    Yet, when told of the exact text of the First Amendment, more than one in three high school students said it goes "too far" in the rights it guarantees. Only half of the students said newspapers should be allowed to publish freely without government approval of stories.

    "These results are not only disturbing; they are dangerous," said Hodding Carter III, president of the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, which sponsored the $1 million study. "Ignorance about the basics of this free society is a danger to our nation's future."

    The students are even more restrictive in their views than their elders, the study says.

    When asked whether people should be allowed to express unpopular views, 97 percent of teachers and 99 percent of school principals said yes. Only 83 percent of students did.

    The results reflected indifference, with almost three in four students saying they took the First Amendment for granted or didn't know how they felt about it. It was also clear that many students do not understand what is protected by the bedrock of the Bill of Rights.

    Three in four students said flag burning is illegal. It's not. About half the students said the government can restrict any indecent material on the Internet. It can't.

    "Schools don't do enough to teach the First Amendment. Students often don't know the rights it protects," Linda Puntney, executive director of the Journalism Education Association, said in the report. "This all comes at a time when there is decreasing passion for much of anything. And, you have to be passionate about the First Amendment."

    The partners in the project, including organizations of newspaper editors and radio and television news directors, share a clear advocacy for First Amendment issues.

    Federal and state officials, meanwhile, have bemoaned a lack of knowledge of U.S. civics and history among young people. Sen. Robert Byrd, D-West Virginia, has even pushed through a mandate that schools must teach about the Constitution on September 17, the date it was signed in 1787.

    The survey, conducted by researchers at the University of Connecticut, is billed as the largest of its kind. More than 100,000 students, nearly 8,000 teachers and more than 500 administrators at 544 public and private high schools took part in early 2004.

    The study suggests that students embrace First Amendment freedoms if they are taught about them and given a chance to practice them, but schools don't make the matter a priority.

    Students who take part in school media activities, such as student newspapers or TV production, are much more likely to support expression of unpopular views, for example.

    About nine in 10 principals said it is important for all students to learn some journalism skills, but most administrators say a lack of money limits their media offerings.

    More than one in five schools offer no student media opportunities; of the high schools that do not offer student newspapers, 40 percent have eliminated them in the last five years.

    "The last 15 years have not been a golden era for student media," said Warren Watson, director of the J-Ideas project at Ball State University in Indiana. "Programs are under siege or dying from neglect. Many students do not get the opportunity to practice our basic freedoms."

Overly busy weekend

I officially discovered during the overnight hours of Friday to Saturday that yes, I am in fact too old to pull an all-nighter anymore. I used to live off of them. Up until 5 or 6 a.m., often seeing the sunrise, and then crashing. Now? Not so much. Granted, I still go to bed late for the nine-to-five crowd (at midnight... ish), but no, can't do those anymore.

Unless I have a week of recovery time.

Gah.

It was a fun weekend. The only other sorority-filled weekend in recent memory was the 20th anniversary cruise weekend. Other than that? I honestly can't recall one since... probably the night I turned 21.

But anyway... Friday night was Sisterhood Night (the new and improved-- and much less painful -- "Hell Night" from my undergrad years) for ΤΒΣ. I wound up being about an hour late to the festivities due to Erich and my work schedules... but found that honestly, I could have probably arrived about an hour later (due to the activity schedule) to alleviate some of my stress. I managed to find street parking outside SFA (yay!) and met up with everyone upstairs. Tricia and I talked a lot that evening, which was great. We've had the occasional livejournal and AIM chats before, but not really just hung out together. :)

Some of the activities of Sisterhood Night were familiar to me. Some weren't. But overall, it was a good time. The chapter is getting absolutely huge now (!!) which is fantastic. I managed to talk to some of the ΑΒ class members late in the evening as I drove them home. I honestly think that the constant renewal of new energy and enthusiasm is what often drives the chapter. Especially during rough spots like they've had recently.

So I managed to drag myself home around 4 a.m. on Saturday morning and promptly collapsed into bed. Only to be woken up by a VERY annoyed Gus at 9 a.m. (who was wondering what the effing deal was... he wanted attention... dammit.) *sigh*

Saturday afternoon I spent over at the apartment of fellow alumni John, Michelle, Ian, and (newly turned) Rodney. We had an unofficial meeting, which was an official "Stitch 'n Bitch." We all pulled out the cross-stitch projects and curled up on various couches to work on them as we vented about chapter frustrations and life in general. Tricia and Maria were also there. Frantic gift creation by bigs to their little sisters were being done. It was a good time. Tricia left for the hockey game around 5. I left sometime around 7 to head home, once my eyes announced that no, they would not see the difference between the coding numbers in my pattern.

Saturday evening was spent in a daze on the couch for about an hour and a half before I passed out around 10:30 or 11.

On Sunday morning, I set the alarm to get up for the 3rd degree ritual (making the pledge class official sisters... for those readers not in Greek life), which was at 9 a.m. I got up at 7:15 and just felt completely awful. As in "oh god what hit me" awful. I decided to stay home. I was wiped. I felt ill. And for three hours, I couldn't justify heading back up to Boston AGAIN for the third time in as many days.

All day I felt out of it and not really well. I managed to get a couple errands done that needed doing... but otherwise the day was unproductive. Thankfully another good night of sleep seems to have taken away whatever crud I was feeling-- it must have just been holdover from Friday night that just was warning me to chill out a bit.

From what I've heard, degree went well. I'm sad to have missed it-- but I'll know for the future that if I'm heading to Sisterhood Night... I need to plan on getting home by about 1 a.m. so I can get a relatively normal night sleep. I may miss a bit, but I'd rather honestly let the actives celebrate sisterhood night together and be able to celebrate the formal events with them (degree). Sisterhood Night changes from class to class. The ritual never does, and it's what ultimately binds us all together as shared experiences.

So congrats to the new sisters and honorary! :) I'm sorry I missed it, but I know I'll be seeing all of you guys around campus during meetings and such.

Off to get work done... World's Largest Dungeon awaits me this evening...

29 January 2005

I'm entirely too old

To be awake until four a.m.

Especially since it takes an act of the Gods to allow me to sleep past 9 a.m.


Oh my god, I feel like the floor of a taxicab.

And this is without any alcohol.

*THUD*

28 January 2005

Morning recess, fifth grade, on this date...

Mrs. Arnold raised her hand early that morning-- the sign that we were to line up to go back into the building. Whining, we all complied, running to her from all parts of the playground.

But she didn't call us to the door. She called us to the center of the four-square lines on the "upper grades" section of Poly Drive's playground.

It was a very bright sunny morning.

It was a relatively warm day-- because I can remember the slight smell of tar from the crack seals in the blacktop.

We were all confused-- we'd only been at recess a few minutes. Why were we all being called back to the building?

She told us all to gather around, because she had very sad news.

Many of us had been talking about it, thanks to the monumental flight. And our class of eight fifth graders and twenty fourth graders (minus whomever was missing that day), couldn't say a word.

It didn't need to be said-- we all went into a long moment of silence. I remember looking at the shadows formed by our shoes and our heads upon the blacktop.

It's the first national tragedy I remember. The Challenger had exploded.

And when I see the footage, I still remember being eleven years old, staring at that blacktop.



Random survey thingy

Seen everywhere. :)

1. What color is most reflective of you?
Green-- always growing, always changing, always renewing.

2. How did you get the idea for your journal name?
Ramblings of a Geeky Witch-- just fits me. I tend to ramble. I'm a geek. I'm a Witch. :)
Measi - is a childhood nickname that has stuck, thanks to my brother's inability at age 2 to pronounce Melissa.

3. What time were you born?
6:28 a.m.

3. What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing?
I'm listening to the Riven game soundtrack-- it's my usual morning routine.

4. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
Not cry so much as sit there somewhat stunned. Gregory Hines' death was the most recent that I really, REALLY mourned.

5. What color underwear are you wearing?
Purple

6. Do you want a baby?
I'd love to be a mom. I don't want to give birth. Adoption seems my way to go (and makes sense, considering I'm an adoptee).

7. What does your dad do for a living?
He's an OB-GYN.

8. What does your mom do for a living?
She's a real-estate agent in a new-home sale development.

9. What is your pet's name?
Three cats, all with full names and nicknames... Colorado (Colley), Mephista (Fizzy) and Augustus Mousedeath (Gus).

10. What color are your bed sheets?
Current set on the bed are sage green.

11. What are the last 3 digits of your phone number?
444

12. What was the last concert you attended?
Prince at the Fleet Center.

13. Who was with you?
Erich and Jason

14. What was the last movie you saw?
In the theater? Two Towers (midnight movie in December). On TV-- can't honestly remember.

15. Who do you dislike most at this moment?
Not really feeling that strong in a negative way about anyone, to be honest.

16. What food are you craving right now?
I desperately need a good dose of Indian curry and mulligatawny soup right now. I haven't had it in ages.

17. Did you dream last night?
Probably, but I don't remember.

18. What was the last TV show you watched?
Buffy this morning as I got ready for work.

19. What is your fave piece of jewelry?
My shiny new engagement ring! :)

20. What is to the left of you?
My coffee cup

21. What was the last thing you ate?
Steak and mashed potatoes (last night)

22. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
Erich.

23. Write a song lyric that's in your head?
"Why do we crucify ourselves, every day..." (Tori Amos... thanks to reading Minarae's journal this morning.

24. Who last imed you?
Maria (serving as John), Michelle, and Tricia-- all at once last night.

25. Where is your significant other right now?
At work, slaving like I am.

26. Do you have a crush?
Beyond Erich? No.

27. What is his name?
N/A

28. What shampoo do you use?
Aussie Redmond

29. When was the last time you cut your hair?
I think in late November. I'm due, but I also want to grow it out.

30. Are you on any meds?
Not as a daily routine, no. Aleve has been my friend this week due to being female. Antihistamines have also been my friend for hives due to the weather.

31. Do you have a mental disease?
Is this a trick question? ;) Seriously, though-- not a diagnosed one. But anyone probably has something wrong with them, according to the DSM-IV.

32. What shirt are you wearing?
Purple striped sweater. (I'm very purple today, apparently).

33. What time is it?
10:12 a.m.

34. What color is your razor?
Pink.

35. What is your fave frozen treat?
Choc-peanut butter ice cream

36. Are you sexy?
I don't think so, but Erich has been trying to convince me that I am.

37. What’s your favorite shopping store?
Send me to a bookstore, and I'll never come out. Especially if it has chai.

38. Are you thirsty?
Not really.

39. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
I guess so! (looks at left hand) (grins)

27 January 2005

Divine Memo #2

To: All Gods
From: Melissa (that peon still living in Massachusetts)
Re: Snow
Date: January 27th, 2005


No, really. I was serious in the first one.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT IT OFF! WE GET IT-- IT'S WINTER. CAN YOU BREAK THESE SNOW STORMS AT LEAST A MONTH APART?

Gah.

26 January 2005

Divine Memo

To: God, She Who Is Known By Many Names, Loki, and Whomever is doing this
From: Melissa (a lowly human here in Massachusetts)
Re: Snow
Date: January 26, 2005


Sirs and Madams:

I humbly ask that You switch off the Godly Dandruff program that has been causing many headaches to Your followers this week here in New England. I will be most happy and gracious in helping find an appropriate Divine Dandruff shampoo to help with the problem, as the flakes are piling a bit too deep to deal with in good humor.

Please, please-- stop for a few days and send us a warm wind so that we might see over the drifts for a few days before the next batch.

Oh-- and while I do not wish to appear violent or malconent, would You please smite the driver who insisted on driving 15 miles per hour on Route 128 north on the Dedham hill this morning, only to stop halfway up and force me into a spin to keep from hitting him? Spinning a Jeep is most unwise and dangerous to Your other followers.

Blessed Be,
Melissa

24 January 2005

Arisia recap

So... now that I'm a bit removed (but still bouncy)... I've added my very small group of photos to my website's nifty new photobucket. Most of the photos aren't from Arisia, but from the snow this weekend. I sadly missed getting shots of the Stormtroopers in the hallways. But Kimee was kind enough to post some of the Arisia photos FROM the Stormtroopers' website, so I'll link them as well. Erich and I were in the room with them when the portal shots were taken.

So... my Arisia recap...


Highlight of Arisia? Should be obvious. If not, see my last entry. :)

Low point of Arisia? Nothing really horrible, but a few "eh" things.


Overall, it's my least favorite attendance of Arisia so far ('00, '01, '02, '03, '05). Not a lot of programming that thrilled me. But the company was good, and that's what made the con in the end.

The scheduled panels and program as a whole seemed very limited and... bare. In years past, I've had to debate what I'd have to skip panel-wise to fit everything into my schedule. This year? I honestly had trouble finding things to fit into my weekend to fill it. The panels were few and far between, and limited in scope. While there was a panel on copyright and issues with women writing particular fiction, there weren't any discussions of story crafting like years past. Sci-fi panels were abundant, but fantasy was virtually ignored. I was very disappointed in the topic selection this year. I'll attribute part of that disappointment to being spoiled by WorldCon back in September. But it seemed like there were only five or six panels during any given hour-- which seemed small for Arisia. And unless you were into comics, polyamory, or costuming, your choices were extremely limited. I'll have to look at past years to really determine how skewed WorldCon has made me on that, though.

Something that had improved? The dance was very good, from the brief time we were there before Erich collapsed. It was a much wider range of music. I approved. Lots of people there. And it actually started virtually on time. I'm very impressed there. Great job-- especially over what happened two years ago where we finally just gave up and didn't try to attend the dance.

I didn't really go into the gaming room this year. With the two panels I was scheduled for, I didn't expect to have the time to game. From what I did see in the gaming room though, it appeared to be fairly exclusive. I'm not a LARP person, personally, although I've heard some good things about the LARP this year.

I can't comment on the Masq. I was out in the snow getting engaged at the time. :)

Drum Circle comments? I made them two entries ago. I'm not sure what the deal is with the politics surrounding the drum circle-- but the staff members who came downstairs were so incredibly condescending that not only did they give a bad representation of Arisia staff, but also of their outside organization. Needless to say, I do intend on drafting a proposal for next year's circle... and hope to be the one to host it so the power ego "the circle must run this way" bullshit that took over will be less of a factor this year. Very elitist or unfriendly staff people that I came across is one of the things that really struck me about the con this year. It's a shame. I understand they're overworked and frustrated, but if you need to vent, please do so to your friends or your other staff members in a more private setting. It's still somewhat of a professional thing, and PR is the way that the popularity of the con is grown. Particularly as costs increase for the con.

Speaking of which-- it seemed VERY sparsely attended to me for some reason. I'm sure weather was a huge factor as time went on in the con. But even on Friday night, we managed to get every elevator on the first try-- with a nearly bare elevator.

My first experiences with being a panelist were good ones. I was nervous as hell and probably quieter than I should have been, but it's interesting to see it from the other side. I need some time to really wrap up my thoughts specifically on my two panels and will probably post each as a separate entry later. I do intend on offering to sit on panels again in the future, and now that I've seen what's going on, I'll know how to prepare a bit better. I did get ideas down on paper beforehand so I wouldn't be dead in the water, but at the same time, I think it still is a bit of a learning curve.

Dealers Room and Dealer's Row-- again, seemed sparser than usual. But again, weather probably had something to do with that. Even still, it seemed like there were a lot less vendors. Particularly up on Dealer's Row. (and since our room was ON that floor, I spent a lot of time on Dealer's Row). That being said, Arisia still remains unique in the Dealer's Row aspect, and I'm glad that they have that. The 10-6 hours of the Dealer's Room is just weird. It never seems to work with my schedule when I'm at a con. I'm amazed those in the room make much money.

So besides the engagement highlight, my highlights would include catching up with three friends who I don't get to see that often due to our schedules-- I hadn't seen Tony and Rachel in two years (since my last attendance at Arisia) and hadn't seen Kimee since the summertime. It's nice to catch up with them, and at least know that if our schedules are that crazy all year, I can touch base with them there. :)

Anyway, overall it was a good weekend. I know that Arisia is in many ways a weekend to just enjoy being a geek and spending time with friends who are geeks. And in that sense, it was a good con. In the organized con sense, eh... not so much.

But we'll see what happens next year...

23 January 2005

Big Announcement




It still hasn't quite sunk in yet, either. :) I just keep having Oh my God, I'm ENGAGED! going through my head today.


Erich and I went to Fire + Ice on St. James Street last night. It's the restaurant that we went to on our first date, but because we aren't in the city that often these days together, we haven't gone since... probably the last time we were at Arisia! Anyway... the snow was swirling, but since it was early in the storm, walking over wasn't bad at all. We had a nice, relaxed dinner... during which the snow increased outside quickly.

After dinner, Erich commented that he really wanted to see how the snow was plastering itself against his old office (the older John Hancock building... with the weather light). I raised an eyebrow, considering that said building is in the windiest vortex of the city. But it was only a block away, I kinda shrugged and followed him over.

And oh, the wind was swirling. It sounded like wind racing through the trees in the Rockies down that corridor. But we went over there and turned the corner onto Clarendon Street. The snow hadn't really begun to stick to the building, but I immediately reasoned that with the wind there, it probably wasn't going to. We walked to the front steps of the building (which were covered in beautiful drifts of snow already). Amid the swirling snow in the air and the ground, he got down on one knee, saying that it's not *quite* where we first met (we were about 50 feet off at most.. but said spot was in the core of the vortex on the other side of the street), but that it was as close as he could get. He asked me to marry him and presented the ring in the picture above. :) I immediately said yes (of course!) and we gave each other a quick kiss. Although it was brutally windy and the snow was piling up quickly, I was bouncing inside the two blocks back to the hotel. The rest of the evening was spent cuddling up either in the hotel room, the bar, or at the Arisia dance.

I gave Erich the rose gold claddaugh ring that I've worn for the past two years. Originally we had matching ones, but his broke a while back. It seemed fitting for him to wear mine now. :)

Since the picture above isn't that great (we tried a few times, but indoor lighting was not our friend). It's a white-gold ring. The center diamond is square cut. On either side are two small square-cut sapphires. And then in the band on the outside of each sapphire are two tiny diamonds.

So much for struggling to make a highlight of Arisia entry, eh?

22 January 2005

Friday Night Arisia thoughts...

Arisia first night thoughts…

Despite the very late addition, the drum circle was well-attended. It started off very strong and comfortable. Lots of dancing. Lots of energy. Everyone was enjoying the rhythms that were being created. It started off well—and I was quite happy, considering that as of Monday, no circle was even on the schedule. We had fifteen to twenty people dancing. The energy that was building was fantastic.

And then a woman named Sarah (who had a staff button) arrived. At first, she jumped in with everyone else. But as the song died, she quickly took control of the circle, making comments to someone else about how she’d been to many other drum circles—REAL drum circles, she said. Apparently she and a couple others were regulars at the Cambridge Drum Circle—one I’ve wanted to attend, but never really have had the chance to go to. Based on their behavior tonight, I don’t want to attend it—ever. Because this “real” drum circle ended up being a power play. Not a community of rhythms.

She began starting every drum with a chant. Which is fine. However, she had a very poor voice and dragged the chant on far too long, not allowing the drummers to start blending into the rhythm as their hearts desired. She seemed focused on specific drumming patterns as if she was teaching a class, trying to “educate” people on drumming. Even stopping when people didn’t immediately bond onto the pattern that she supposedly was starting (but didn’t). It was a very quick turn off. The magic of the circle died.

As the amount of dancers diminished, the quality of the circle diminished as well. These “real circle” drummers may have an effective circle for the type of drumming they do in Cambridge. But with an actual altar set up on the floor, the power play was disgusting.

Oh, and did I mention that these people insisted on drumming in a V shape, rather than a circle? It’s supposed to be a circle, folks. Connecting one another together. In a V shape, you cannot see the other drummers. You are not side by side. Some are left behind, taken out of the binding circle of rhythm.

The fact that almost every single drum rhythm was forced into a frenzy of fast drumming was also annoying—it left anyone who was unfamiliar with the rhythm out, or in a desperate attempt to catch up. It also was virtually undanceable. While the drummers stayed, the dancers (save a couple) left. Because how were they supposed to dance to such a blur of drum thumps. There was no heartbeat to the melodies, simply because few people could keep up. More than once, I just stopped. On one set, started in a stupidly fast pace, I just didn’t even drum.

Sorry—but from my education, drum circles are to speak to the human heartbeat. The heart doesn’t always beat at 160 clicks per minute. Sometimes it’s good to keep a very low, steady rhythm. Something basic. Allowing even the most unskilled drummer to participate happily, easily. Something welcoming. Something slow and mesmerizing. A couple fast songs? Sure. But not every one should speed up. That shows no control (or soul, for that matter).

On my way back upstairs, friends of mine as well as a few strangers commented on how horrible it turned once these people power played the circle. They commented on the kick ass circle of two years ago—which was amazing. The energy raised that night was unforgettable. Yet these people had the gall to call their way the “real” circle. I doubt they’ve been to one. Or perhaps have never been moved by one, and missed the point.

Next year? Hopefully things will change. I will be contacting the organizers of Arisia in late May once they really start thinking about next year, and will offer to host the drum circle. And we’ll return it to the spiritual, welcoming place that it was for years, welcoming everyone and expecting egos to be left at the door.

Just a heartbeat. One heartbeat. Full of many fingered voices.

It needs to return next year.

At 11 p.m. where it belongs. And without these bullshit egos.







20 January 2005

Not a single word

In his inaugural speech, President Bush didn't say a SINGLE WORD about Iraq.

Not. One. Word.

Disgraceful, isn't it? Over a thousand citizens killed. Several thousand wounded. A nation is in complete crisis, and it's worsening each day.

Afghanistan's long past-- it doesn't matter any more, despite the fact that Bin Laden is still at large. Iraq is now becoming history, now that the ruse has been blown. Bush needs a new place to conquer, lest those of us who see reality become louder than his supportrs.

How interesting that within days of the cancellation of the search for WMD's, a new target... Iran (who has a strong military, FYI)... was announced.

One country after another. Bush will keep invading nations, claiming it's out of the quest to rid the world of tyrany (he apparently hasn't looked at his own administration recently) and to bring democracy to the world (while he rids his homeland of it, of course).

It's worked twice-- the majority of the American public has gone along with it. Third time's a charm? Does it really matter, now that he doesn't have to worry about re-election?

*sigh*

19 January 2005

Hoping it's a false alarm...

From the Drudge Report (and supplimented by Boston Channel 5)...

The FBI is searching for a possible "dirty bomb" in Boston.

The Massachusetts Emergency Management Agency has been placed on standby, and public safety officials are meeting at the bunker, officials said Wednesday.

There have been reports that the FBI office in Boston received a call from an FBI office in California warning officials about a suspicious person that may be in the area. There have been no specific threats made, but FBI agents in Boston have been put on alert, and officials started to gather at MEMA at about 1:30 p.m.

I seriously hope this is a false alarm...

Sweet jeebus

Who the hell put on the insanity switch in this office today?

By 10 am, I had 15 of my 43 people complaining to me about stuff they needed done last week (but of course never told me). So of course it all has to get done TODAY.

AT THE SAME TIME.


And I know I really don't have the time to vent, but I need to so I can get it out of my system before I start plowing through a shitload of notes and paper.



Shoot me.

18 January 2005

My 2005 Book List

I have a growing collection of books that need to be read, and honestly need to start catching up with the stack. The problem is that, like all bookworms, I keep buying books and then putting them on shelves, forgetting about them until I come across them one day. And I remark that I really need to read that.

And then of course leave it on said shelf and forget about it again.

Compound this problem with an additional TWO bookworms in the apartment at the moment, albeit Jason's not quite as bad since he's been focused on getting his finances in order. We have a bunch of high bookshelves. They're pretty full.

It's time for me to read some of these, and then maybe attempt using Book Crossing to allow someone else to enjoy them. I have to accept that apart from some that I really, really want to keep, most of the novels I read won't be read again and should find their way to the hands of someone else who wants to read them.

Maybe I should come up with a list of the books I do have at some point that I'm willing to let out into the world, either as a loan or permanently...

Anyway... in the meantime, I'll start composing the list of books that I have lined up to read... listed only in the order that they're currently piled on my table as I type them in. Once I finish them, I'll review them and add links to the individual reviews. :)

Come June, when my commute switches from driving 20 miles every day to 45 minutes of train riding every day, I imagine that I'll be going through books a lot faster...

Currently Reading
Eragon by Christopher Paolini (Book one of Inheritance series)
Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett

On the shelves to read
Reading Lolita in Tehran - a Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
Codex by Lev Grossman
The Outlaw Sea by William Langewiesche
Shadow Divers by Robert Kurson
Falling Sideways by Tom Holt
The Divine Comedies (Omnibus) by Tom Holt
The Book of Secrets - Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life by Deepak Chopra
The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson
Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer
Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner
The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson
Birthright by Nora Roberts
America (The Book) by The Daily Show cast
The Dante Club by Matthew Pearl
Johnny and the Bomb by Terry Pratchett
Johnny and the Dead by Terry Pratchett
Only You Can Save Mankind by Terry Pratchett
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
American Gods by Neil Gaiman -- again.
Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin -- again (people are insisting I give this another try)
The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett
Eric by Terry Pratchett
The Known World by Edward P. Jones
The Summoning, The Siege, and The Sorcerer (Return of the Archwizards Trilogy) by Troy Denning
The Cleric Quintet by R.A. Salvatore
Realms of the Dragons (a collection of tales) by various writers
Faithful by Stephen King and Stewart O'Nan
The Hobbit by Tolkein (no, I've never read it!)


Haven't bought, but still want to read..
Eldest by Christopher Paolini (Book two of Inheritance series)
Harry Potter 6 (All reading will go on hold in July, of course, so I can read this)
The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason
Nuremberg Interviews by Leon Goldensohn
Inside the Kingdom by Carmen bin Ladin
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier
The Bible Unearthed by Israel Finelstein and Neil Asher Silberman
The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson
Conviction: Solving the Moxley Murder by Leonard Levitt
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke
Smilla's Sense of Snow by Peter Hoeg
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruis Zafon
The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough
The Touch by Colleen McCullough
Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts
Shade by Neil Jordan
Runaway by Alice Munro
The Fool's Tale by Nicole Galland

An important PSA

Please, take a moment to visit kideternal's entry here. Awareness is the only way we'll ever overcome this...


Much thanks to jenngbob for this important information.

Four days until Arisia - Con Talk time!

I can't believe Arisia starts this Friday. Goo! Where has the time gone? (and to think that it was originally planned to be this PAST weekend...)

I received an email from Rachel at programming for Arisia with my schedule for panels. It looks like the NaNoWriMo panel will not be happening. Ah well. I did ask in my verification email just to check, but I'm assuming that it's not happening. Le sigh.

With my Friday schedule, there was a 9-10 p.m. panel (on Klingons) that I just was wary of committing to, so I've contacted programming to get taken off of it if possible.

BUT... the other two that I will be definitely on, if any con attendees want to give moral support to the first-time panelist (mew?), are:

    Breaking down Myths of Women in Gaming: 04:00 PM 04:50 PM (in Thoreau)
    This is probably self-explanatory from the title. Should be a lot of fun.

    Party Genesis Scenarios: 05:00 PM 05:50 PM (in Back Bay)
    This is a discussion on how to break out of the mold of "You start in an inn..." type beginnings to campaigns. I'm going to have a lot of brainstorming fun this past week, remembering different campaign openers. I'm sure Erich will enjoy this one, too.


I'm honestly kind of glad they're later in the afternoon, too. Granted, I usually am arguing to try to figure out which panels I'll be skipping due to exhaustion or overlap, but I'd rather they be in the late afternoon, which is when I start slacking off after hours upon hours of attending panels myself. :)

They have scheduled space for a Drum Circle-- for an hour. Which is better than nothing, of course-- but still frustrating after the amazing circles of years past that started at 11 p.m. and just ran until people dropped off. Instead, there's some cheesy late night games (such as duck duck goose? *sigh*) taking over the room. Apparently the person who ran the circle before did not want to commit for this year, so alas, no circle until there were some rumors flying and comments made last week. I can't blame him, considering the shaft that the circle got last year.

But will I be able to get TO the circle? Since it's at 8 p.m., and I'm currently scheduled for a 9 p.m. panel (that I'm not really keen on doing, but will if I must because I did originally say I was interested...), and I am not getting off work on Friday until probably 5:30 by the looks of my boss' schedule... *sigh* Getting settled into the hotel is good. Getting dinner is even better.

It'll be nice to get back to Arisia. Erich and I didn't go last year due to money issues, compounded by the fact that we wanted to attend WorldCon -- and did, but it was wicked expensive (and tons of fun).

Arisia's a lot more intimate (by about, say, 5,000 attendees), yet still large enough and varied enough with events that I have a great time. Honestly, every time I've gone I leave feeling like I just wanted to do more-- which I consider a good thing. Unlike LunaCon, where I was extremely bored by about halfway into day two and stuck at the hotel because I had no car to get out for a while.

I'm looking forward to seeing the complete schedule, though, so I can take my trusty highlighter and plan my weekend. :) Con madness-- yay!

Okay, this is not funny...

really, guys. Although ANYONE who knows me offline is going to laugh when they read this...




The Great LiveJournal
Outage of 2005


During the outage I went out to socialize and ended up spraining my ankle very badly. I should sue LJ for having downtime and thus causing me to have to go out in the world, which inevitably caused my accident.


What did you do?


Brought to you by geek-foo





*mutters about being a Klutz*

17 January 2005

Ah yes, like the holidays of old...

Sitting in front of the TV, watching the X-Files marathon, doing penpalling stuff.

Cats curled up around me.

Life. Is. Good.

Underdogs... again

It amazes me that the defending Superbowl champions are the underdogs in the post season.

At home.

Against the Colts (who are 0-6 against the Pats at home, BTW)

In January.

In the snow.


Yet across the board in ESPN pregame land yesterday, they insisted that the Pats were going down. The official spread was ONE POINT. The Colts would win. It was all about Peyton Manning, who yes-- has had an incredible career thus far as a quarterback.

But you know, his adversary was this quarterback named Tom Brady. Who doesn't really have any astounding stats to his name-- other than the fact that he's taken his team to three postseasons in four years and won two Superbowls-- with a chance at a third. Oh yeah... and he's only 27. And keeps schooling the Colts.

Nah, nothing to say about THAT quarterback.


Twenty to three, guys. ESPN-- you listening? TWENTY TO THREE. With a very weakened defense.

Learn your lesson-- the Pats are not a fluke. They're not always pretty. They're not flashy. They don't have any assholes like Randy Moss pretending to moon fans in the end zone. But they're a team. They play as the epitome of a team. You know-- that great ideal that you want to convey as a role model to kids? Yeah-- perhaps paying attention to that, rather than the moronic superstars who think they rule the game.

Bring on the Steelers. And start showing the Pats a bit more respect, please.

/football rant

16 January 2005

Question #1 answered :)

As promised... questions get answered. Want me to answer one (anything-- I'm an open book!), just ask it and leave a way for me to contact you once it's up...

The first question comes from one of my fellow Cogsters, H. (aka "flyingblogspot")...

First question: Looking back through the past few months in your LJ, there are very few locked entries (or at least, few that are locked with a filter that allows me to see them). So my question is - what sort of content will cause measi to lock a journal entry?

I honestly resist locking entries as much as possible. One of the reasons I started writing in an online journal to begin with was to force myself to open myself up. Pre-Erich (and honestly probably about six or seven months into dating Erich), I was not someone who felt comfortable opening up my thoughts to other people for fear of being belittled. Very few people knew me at all-- including my parents. I tended to be the silent one in the corner and also the girl in high school who was elbowed into lockers... a lot... for being the too-smart-so-we-hate-her student. Add some dosage of my home life as a kid, and you have serious contents under pressure.

So as much as I've been tempted with several entries, I resist the urge to lock as much as I possibly can. If it's something I absolutely don't want on the web, it simply doesn't get posted to my online journal. It might be written or typed somewhere on my hard drive. But it won't go online. No online entry is completely safe or locked away.

In the last four years at Diary-X, I probably have about a dozen entries total that are locked. And over at LJ, I think I've filtered maybe ONE to friends-only (never anything completely private).
However, the things that have made me lock an entry include...

1) An argument between Erich and I or Jason and I that is unresolved or one that I'm not comfortable spreading widely on the net.

2) Entries regarding abortion because there was a good risk of my parents reading them at the time. (They'll be unlocked when I finish transferring entries to measi (dot) net). These were locked after the fact when I was having a bout of paranoia and a strong need to not have to go into that bombshell with my parents.

3) Disagreement with the management at Diary-X, when the post was typed AT Diary-X.

4) A very long letter to my dad after the hell that was Christmas 2002.

5) Entries regarding my intimate feelings about sex. Specifically when I'm trying to work through something I'm not comfortable discussing, but want to work through.

6) Overblown paranoia about something stupid.

7) An entry bitching about someone in my offline life that KNOWS I have the journal and might very well read it. Usually they're blowing off steam type entries, but they have the potential to be very ugly catalysts for melodrama.

:)

Keep the questions coming, guys!


Question time...

To give me a few ideas for some more meaningful entries, I thought I'd copy a few of my online friends and open myself up for questions. Hopefully a few will lead to much deeper entries (which I miss doing, but haven't in quite some time).

So... ask me anything you want. Leave a comment here, email me, whatever. I will answer anything that's asked in some form, provided that the person asking leaves a name and some sort of way to contact them. :)

Should I be afraid?

15 January 2005

It's too early to be up...

considering I didn't get to sleep until 3 a.m.-ish. But sometime before dawn, we had to put Gus in kitty!jail for being obnoxious and I always get paranoid about him being locked in the bathroom for more than a coule hours so we can sleep. It guarantees that I'll wake up constantly.

*sigh* So here I am on six hours of sleep. We're having a really long gaming session today for Erich's game. I'm going to die.

Actually, my plan is to crawl back into bed for an hour once Erich's up. We need someone up and out here in the living room when Gus is in this mood, just for damage control. We actually have a stash of new furry rattle mice stored in the food pantry just to toss out in case we need to divert his attention. Isn't that sad? It is a mark of official Crazy Cat People status-- moreso than the Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure that Minarae got me for Yule.

Gus' drug addiction of choice is rattley mice. It's crack cocaine for the furball formally now named Augustus Mousedeath. Guaranteed to work every single time. And we stock up. Seriously-- if anyone ever wonders what to get me? Furry rattley mice for cats. We always need a larger supply.

Of course, the side effects include fishing soaking wet rattley mice out of the water dish, because Gus insists of putting them there after use for safe keeping. It also means playing Fetch if he happens to bring it up onto the bed. If you ignore the cat's desire for Fetch, he will begin to go back to his pre-mouse antics and attempt to Knock Shit Over (tm).

*sigh*

I'm up way too early for this.

Gah.


*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

In other news... the plan to retire at the age of 30 went unsuccessfully at Foxwoods last night. I brought $400 to play. $100 stayed in my wallet the entire night. Of the $300 I did spend at Let It Ride, I managed to walk away from the table with roughly $160. So not horrible. A later-evening gut straight (that I really had no business riding on, but did anyway-- and lucked out) saved me from being completely wiped out.

When we first got there around 3:30 or 4, the tables were packed. They had a $5 Let It Ride table that Erich and some of the guys got on over time, but I wanted to play rather than just stand around and wait... so Robin and I went over to one of the other casinos where the nickel slots were. As soon as we entered, we started joking about how the nickel slot casino even had a different smell (distinctly of garlic sausage, in my opinion). This was the Old Person Casino. The bus terminal was off once side. Directly across from the bus terminal was the Huge Ass Bingo Hall, which resembled a prison mess hall. Thirteen bucks to go play bingo.

I think I'll pass.

But damn, that thing was fucking PACKED. And there was a LOT of white and grey hair in there. They'd jump me in there, you know. I know they would. Bingo players can be fucking MEAN.

We played some of the video nickel slots. For a bit I was up a lot, but the games weren't normal slot machines, so I was confused at what the point of the games were. Not that it mattered, because you really don't play slot machines. You just spin them and hope you win whatever you're supposed to win. But alas, no. After a while I blew through the money I spent on them.

Ah well, no early retirement for me. Not yet, anyway. :)

13 January 2005

Hee! temporary mix-up there...

Sadly, I think I'll lose any Haloscan comments from the past few days-- if I do, just post again. I didn't delete you. My new "tenant" did... *smiles and winces*, but it was my fault anyway. I gave her the wrong routing path for her journal entries, and she wound up overwriting MY journal.

Whoops.

But no-- Minarae and I aren't the same person.

Anyway... all things are back to normal. Oh, and Min... the template that was in my journal space is downloaded to a different folder for safekeeping-- I wasn't sure if you wanted it/needed it... so I figured better safe than sorry.

I've found myself constantly staring out of my cubicle doorway across the hall, through the nearest office all friggin day. It's very froggy today outside. As in San Franciscon at 6 a.m. froggy. (Bay? What Bay? *splash* sorta froggy). I can see a tree outside the buidling window, and then a faint grey outline of the power lines that are 50 feet away, and then nothing. I don't recall a day quite this froggy in a while. Not one that lingered all day, at least. I would have figured it would burn off by noon. But here it is, 2:20 and still no better than this morning.

Funky. I've heard it's supposed to start snowing tonight, too. I wonder if it will still be this thick when the snow starts falling. It would be very pretty. To have snow coming from what appears to be featureless ether.

Oh, did I mention I was in a strange mental state today? You couldn't tell by my writing style, right? This is the "I have a four day weekend coming and really want to just leave but can't" mental state. I'm sure everyone can relate at some point.

In work news... Apparently my coworker who hired the Psycho!Woman kinda forgot to clear that with my boss first... heh. So she might not be coming to work here after all. I hope she doesn't. I really don't. The woman is psychotic in the literal sense. Very mean to people, saying remarks that at first reaction just seem like airheaded and out there, but when you really think about them, you realize how heartless the woman is. I don't want her around again. Ever. She gives me the creeps.

And yeah... that's really all I have to talk about.

I'm kinda brain dead. If you couldn't tell.

12 January 2005

Heh... are we surprised?

Actually, I'm shocked that they've finally closed the ruse. Around 1991, I would have argued that there undoubtedly were WMD's in Iraq. But around 2000? Not with the condition of the nation. The war in Iraq is a revenge war because Bush Daddy didn't get Saddam. Hopefully one of these days the conservative crowd will wake up and realize this, too.

And I stand by the fact that this is my generation's Vietnam. Anyone who thinks that
1) Bush's claim that this war is over, or
2) That we're getting out of there successfully any time soon

is smoking something. I might want some to avoid the realities of the situation myself...

    (Source: CNN)
    U.S. ends search for WMD in Iraq
    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 Posted: 10:29 AM EST (1529 GMT)

    WASHINGTON (CNN) -- U.S. inspectors have ended their search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq in recent weeks, a U.S. intelligence official told CNN.

    The search ended almost two years after President Bush ordered the invasion of Iraq, citing concerns that Saddam Hussein was building weapons of mass destruction and may have hidden weapons stockpiles.

    Members of the Iraq Survey Group were continuing to examine hundreds of documents and would investigate any new leads, the official said.

    Charles A. Duelfer, who headed the Iraq Survey Group's search for WMD in Iraq, has returned to Iraq and is working on his final report, the official said.

    In October, Duelfer released a preliminary report finding that in March 2003 -- the United States invaded Iraq on March 19 of that year -- Saddam did not have any WMD stockpiles and had not started any program to produce them.

    The Iraq Survey Group report said that Iraq's WMD program was essentially destroyed in 1991 and Saddam ended the country's nuclear program after the 1991 Gulf War.

    The report found that Iraq worked hard to cheat on United Nations-imposed sanctions and retain the capability to resume production of weapons of mass destruction at some time in the future.

    "[Saddam] wanted to end sanctions while preserving the capability to reconstitute his weapons of mass destruction when sanctions were lifted," a summary of the report said.

    Many of the military and intelligence personnel, who had been assigned to the weapons search, are now working on counterinsurgency matters, the official said.


*sigh* You know, if the point was to get Saddam out of power-- if that had been the REASON we went to Iraq, I honestly would have probably supported it, even though I would have been wary. Although I did question the timing, considering that Bin Laden had not been found. Afghanistan was slowly turning into its own quagmire at the time, and it made no sense to be going into another nation when we weren't done with the work in Afghanistan-- a nation that was proven to be obnoxiously difficult (*cough* USSR) to really get under control.

But because the whole situation was one of smoke and mirrors, I'm just disgusted by it. *sigh*

I'll post a happier entry later-- good post-birthday goodness and all that. But I need to get to work for now...

11 January 2005

There's no crying in birthdays!

(okay... maybe a little... bit in a good way).

First, a thank-you as a general group for all the internet well-wishes for my birthday. I'll be contacting you each individually, but I want to send a big one out now to everyone. I've *NEVER* had so many people email me or remotely notice it was my birthday. I honestly am overwhelmed by it, but grinning like a madwoman and am incredibly flattered. Thank you! :)

Second, I love my boyfriend. Incredibly so. The pink roses (and teddy bear) are so adorable! He really spoils me. I'm incredibly lucky. I'm not quite sure if I were racking up points as a teenager and college student for this, but some karma was saved up somewhere (I'd love to know what I did!) And no... no one else can have him. ;-P So there.

Third , my mother is a goddess. She's has called in exaggerated (I hope!) melodrama about my being thirty and how she's too young to have a daughter of thirty... but she's a goddess. I opened her card today and literally cried at my cubicle. She's so incredibly generous. My immediate call of thank you isn't enough, and I need to figure something out. Let's just say the idea of being able to save money toward a house is significantly closer to reality right now. And it made me bawl in happiness this morning.

I'm completely overwhelmed.


I...

yeah.

:)

10 January 2005

For the love of ALL that is good and holy

Why the HELL is THAT woman coming back to work here AGAIN?!?!?

She's come and left THREE TIMES since I've been here.

She's incompetent.

Coworker who's hiring her: "She's the only one available for work right now."


Yeah. And there's a bloody REASON for that.


*thumps head very hard on desk* My 2005 at work just got doubly hellish.

She's baaaaaa-ck.

Feeling my age

So here we're already a third of the way through January 2005 already. Amazing how fast it goes, isn't it? And that odd word that I've been trying to adjust to still haven't sunken in. I have less than 24 hours to get used to it.

thirty. Thirrrr-teeeee. thirrr--tEEEE.

It doesn't roll off the tongue well yet. I've been too used to saying twenty-something for a decade now. And I thought changing from -teen was weird.

Actually, no-- the weirdest one was twenty-five. At some point in grade school-- I was probably in first or second grade (given that we'd be learning addition and subtraction at that point), it dawned on me that in the year 2000, I would be 25 years old. I recall that it sounded SO old and SO far away. And because I'm a born-on-a-quarter baby, it's easy to figure out exactly which year I'll be what age. But twenty-five sounded so incredibly old. I was going to be *gasp* an adult! And probably married. With kids.

I got to twenty-five. No marriage. A scare of kids. I had never felt so young and immature and clueless in my life. Twenty-five was a very rough year. Emotionally, physically, professionally. Twenty-five was that year where the living-as-if-in-college really finally stopped and I had to get my shit in gear. Or at least had to start trying. It's not all quite in gear yet-- but it's getting there. And I'm feeling like pieces are starting to fit together.

I've heard thirty is the new twenty. Whether or not that's true, I don't know. But what I thought would have come together about five to ten years ago is finally starting to gel.

But thirty still sounds old.

07 January 2005

It's January

And I'm almost ready to move over from Diary-X. I have a template that's easy to read and will work for the time being. Comments are up and running okay (without a Blogger restriction... I kept Haloscan). I think things are okay.

And honestly, while I will miss some of the laziness on Diary-X, I just feel the need for the break. Personal ethics prevent me from paying for service run by someone (or in this case more than one) who are admitted bigots. Especially since there's a family member directly involved in said bigotry. It's deplorable.

Only a few more days...

06 January 2005

As Holidailies comes to a close...

Well, I didn't write as much as I'd hoped to. Life was just too busy. What else is new, eh? But it was a great experience and I met quite a few journalists who were kind enough to drop an email or a message in the guestbook.

My readership has jumped in recent weeks. I'd love to know who's reading. And if you have a blog or journal that you keep online and would like to share, please drop me a link-- because I do enjoy finding new reads. Unfortunately Diary-X's stat holder doesn't show me too much detail on who is coming here. My reads list needs a bit of an overhaul, so drop me a line. Seriously-- I appreciate the escape between data entry hell projects at work. :)

Befriending links are a good thing. Honest.


Meanwhile, it's a very snowy day here in Massachusetts and half of my co-workers are out because their kids have a snow day. It seriously astounds me at how lazy the school districts are in Massachusetts with cancelling school. I'm going to take advantage of the quiet time and get those stupid little things (*cough* phone lists) done that I don't have time to do otherwise.

Please don't be a stranger-- hope to continue to see you here (and at my new home later this month!) I'm a bit late on the bandwagon, but hey... purdy please?

05 January 2005

He's so cute!

Heh. I got to do that cheesy, endearing girlfriend thing today-- help Erich shave. :)

Erich forgot his electric razor at my mom's over the holidays. Despite her promises to send it "right up," she hasn't done it. It's in her car. So over the last five day weekend, Erich's gone without shaving at all and was getting a bit... scraggly.

Today he returned to work and needed to look a bit more presentable. I told him to just use a regular razor. He literally looked at me confused and said "I've never used one."

This stunned me. I mean, I've never used an electric razor. I figured that guys kinda moved up to that after getting sick of using a basic one. But I assumed that all guys at least learned how to shave using the basic ol' Gillette blade.

Not my guy. Apparently he started off on an electric, and that's all he's used.

But Erich did need to get a bit cleaned up this morning, so hand-held razor it would be. And the only one in the house? My trusty pink Venus razor, complete with women's pear-scented Skintimate shaving gel.

:)

On top of that, I'd never had to teach someone else to shave, or had to help them out for some broken arm or whatever... so I was a bit nervous to help him. I showed him very quickly how to move it (using his extended sideburns as the example... given that it was the flattest part of his face) and passed it off to him.

He actually did a damn good job-- and managed to maintain the shape of his mustache and goatee well in the process.

I'm jealous. His skin's softer than mine when he shaves. How the hell did that happen?

~~~~~~~~~

Apparently I'm an idiot when typing web pages, by the way. Web page from last entry is here. I put a period instead of a backslash.

Moo. Moo moo.

04 January 2005

It's not as bad as I thought...

I took a few minutes on my ride home from work to pop by our storage space. I grabbed all of the cross stitch stuff I could find and brought it home so I could sort through it. I made a few discoveries--

1) My stitching on The Castle isn't in as bad of shape as I thought. I have probably about 30-35% of the pattern done, and the fabric's in okay shape. It's a bit stained, but I think I'll be able to get it out by hand when I finish. So rather than start over, I'll keep working on this one for now.

2) I have a lot of different threads

3) Most of my leaflets of different patterns are nowhere to be seen. I assume they're probably at my mom's. If not, they're in a book bin somewhere in storage. I'll look again for them come Spring.

4) I also came across the binder that had all of the stuff from when I was VMP of the sorority. Yay! So at some point, I'll sort through my scribbling to see if there is stuff for the website, laugh over it, show it to John (given that he's a history buff for the chapter), and then hand it over to Kellie so she can take a look through to see if anything's missing from current chapter education.


Back to stitching... I put together a preliminary Works-In-Progress page at my domain. The initial page is here. It'll grow as time goes on. I've talked to a few different stitchers, and they seem to find a rotation method to work the best-- basically, you gather your projects together and line them all up in an order. You choose a number of hours and work on a piece for that amount of time (say, ten hours). When you've reached ten hours, you stop working on that piece and pick up the next piece and do ten hours on that. When you've gone through all of the pieces you currently have in progress, you can allow yourself to add another one to the rotation if you want before going back through the same rotation again.

This allows you to get some work done on each piece, but not get bored with working on some pieces-- like The Castle or the Egyptian Sampler (which literally are hundreds of stitch hours to complete) -- for years and get so sick of them that you never finish ANY of them. Throw some little easy ones in there, and you can get a ton more done and feel accomplished.

It sounds like it could work, and keep me on the hobby a lot more. Just one hour a night before bed during weeknights. That's a guaranteed 20 hours or so each month (assuming some nights I'm out doing whatever or just crash out). Plenty of stitching time.

It might just work...

Feeling hot, and not in a good way...

While my Monday back at work was the usual chaos that follows any holiday/vacation/sick day/etc., it didn't get anywhere near Minarae's. Feel pity for her, please.

It started to rain here last night. We saw one big swath of green on the Weather Channel radar, suggesting that last night would not be a good night to sleep with the windows cracked open as we normally do- even in freezing weather. I'm one of those strange people who really does need at least a hint of fresh outdoor air when she sleeps. But since our bed is directly below the window, rain on the face generally doesn't serve the sleep process that well.

The windows last night therefore stayed shut. And as a result, I found myself waking up a lot, feeling overly warm from the combination of apartment heat and living on the 3rd floor, and wondering if I was starting hot flashes at age 30 minus 7 days. Apparently I was a very good source of heat last night because Colley was attached to my hip ALL NIGHT. So the sensation of hot flashes complimented by very heavily furred Norwegian Forest Cat were not exactly... pleasant.

Yeah, this is a great way to sleep. (grumbles)

The rain has now stopped, but the dismal grey sky of New England winter remains. I've heard rumors of rain and snow showers off and on the rest of the week. I'd rather it just do another big dumping of snow and get it over with, but I'll deal. At least it gives me an excuse to not have to wash my car. Too bad it doesn't excuse the fact that I need to clean OUT my car, which is looking very nasty after three weeks of Christmas shopping and two seven hour road trips.

;-P

03 January 2005

A new crassness for TV

Sometime yesterday during my flurry of penpalling, an ad came on the screen advertising the newest in tasteless FOX reality shows. I didn't pay it much mind, other than to think "okay, that's really fucked up." But I figured it would be some sappy romantic one like the stupid "Who Wants to Marry My Dad" thing they had. Finding love, finding reconnection-- okay, sappy and syrupy, but kinda sweet in a way. And as an adopted child myself, I can appreciate such a feel-good sort of show.

But today, I saw the rest of the premise of the show, and my ire came up. Because it's just completely disgusting.

I'm talking about tonight's "special" on FOX called "Who's My Daddy."

Don't let the title fool you. It's not to be confused with Yankees fans taunting Pedro Martinez during Red Sox-Yankees playoff games. The premise of this show sinks to a new low that even "The Swan," in its horrifying glamorizing of all things superficial and encouraging the self-loathing of women with flaws (translation: everyone) everywhere, can't reach. Because "Who's My Daddy" sinks into the level of who someone *is* and where they come from, rather than what they look like.

The premise of the show goes like this: A young woman who was adopted as a baby is searching for her biological father. Over time, much in (what I imagine) will be Bachellor-like fashion, she'll get to know eight men who are potentially her dad. At the end of it, she has to choose which one she thinks is her biological father. If she's right, she wins a $100,000 prize. If she picks wrong, the man she picked wins the $100,000 prize.

Seriously-- how utterly disgusting is this?

Said woman picks a man, who has been trying to get close to her and make her think he's her father. Only to do a "sorry-- you lose! No dad for you!" And what is sicker, is if there is ANY honesty in this program? The woman's long-lost biological father is suppsedly THERE. And not telling her that he is her father (if he knows). But the producers in theory would know. What sick fucks would do such a thing to someone who doesn't know her own biological past?

Not that FOX had much decency anyway-- but this is just horrifying. Kudos to the affiliate who decided to dump this garbage and instead show something meaningful and introspective on adoption.

I mean, honestly. I could see the potential hook for getting this woman to do the program. I can see this right here, and even I, in my extreme distaste for reality TV, might have bought it hook, line, and sinker....

Producer: Melissa, we'd like you to be on a new reality show dealing with adoption.

Me: O-kay (skeptical)

Producer: What would happen is showing an adoptee's discovery of her biological heritage over six programs. The searching, the leads, the close-but-misses in connections, etc. Show what the search is really about.

Me: But I'm not searching for my biological parents right now.

Producer: No? Well, that's the great part-- see, we'll help you find your biological father. And after going through the experience, with our help, we hope that at the end, the two of you will be reunited.

Me: Interesting.

Producer: It's a fantastic story. Lots of feel good-ness and tremendous drama. It makes for a great show for us, and a personal celebration of discovery for you.

Me: Yeah, it would.

Producer: So? Would you be interested?



If approached in some fashion like this, I'd fall for it in a second. I don't deny it at all. I'd be that weak, because under every closed adoption child's armor is at least a little shred of "Where did I come from?" curiosity. It's stronger in some people than other, but it's always there. It's human nature to know who gave birth to you, who you resemble, etc. I've often wondered whose eyes I got or whose hair, for example. These traits are passed down and easy to see if there's a similarity. I also wonder about the hidden ones-- genetic diseases that I might be a carrier of, or things I'm at greater risk for. Medical history? What medical history? You're looking at the human extent of it. Right here.

Honestly-- I'm not looking for my biological parents... yet. I have tossed the idea around off and on for years, usually throwing it into the "I'll look when I have a child of my own" bin by the end of the round. But it's one of those things where I'd love to meet them, yet at the same time, I'm scared of the potential of rejection as well. I've heard the horror stories of adoptees trying to find their biological mothers, only to have doors literally slammed on their face or where after two or three visits, the mother wants no more contact. It would be heartbreaking.

Now imagine being set up where you'd not only have just missed the chance at meeting your biological parent, but are also playing a FUCKING GAME SHOW for said humiliation.

Ick. Talk about dangling carrots in the most obscene form imagineable.

02 January 2005

A productive yet lazy day

Today's day consisted of the following...

- Watched the Patriots win a very weird game over San Francisco

- Racked my brain to come up with swaps for organized penpal swapping lists.

- Went through a plethora of slams for my own swaps, and managed to run out two brand-new pens today

- Went shopping at Walmart for house necessities, embroidery threads, and managed to pick up socks, nylons, and earrings that I hadn't planned on getting

- Went to Taco Hell

- Came home to more slams and swapping excitement

- Watched Erich play Star Wars on the Xbox

- Cuddled the eldest cat who insisted on sleeping ON my swapping stuff

- Made an even bigger mess of the living room

- Played a bit of RollerCoaster Tycoon 2 and made a lot of virtual people get very sick on a coaster of my own design


Ah yes... gotta love long weekends. I'm jealous that Erich still has two more days off.

~ Mel.

I won't fall ill... I won't fall ill...

Erich's been sick with a headcold since we returned from Pennsylvania, and I've been praying that I don't get it. The headcold itself is annoying, but it's the weeks upon weeks of painful coughing afterward that I don't want.

Every year that I've gotten a flu shot, I've managed to get through the winter with at most a mild case of bronchitis. This year? I'm a bit worried. And so are my ribs.

I've been doing okay for most of the week, but this morning I woke up feeling a bit stuffy. I'm just hoping it's morning grogginess.

I don't want to get sick... I don't want to get sick...

Yet again, I need a flamethrower

Since age 7 I've had this very odd addiction to a hobby that almost everyone knows about, but only those really into it know the depth and complexity that it can entail. Pen pal writing isn't for wimps, folks-- it's a bonafide life style. If you don't make it your lifestyle, you'll be taken over by the mounds of paper (usually in the form of friendship books, blank stationery, and envelopes) that can grow at an alarming rate.

I'm at the point of being completely overwhelmed by this problem of my own making. And while I love the hobby, I know that I need to cut back on it... dramatically. I just can't keep up with it all. And with the internet being such a boon to the swapping and exchange side of the hobby, things are at such a fast pace now. Even in my days of being a loser in high school with few friends, I wouldn't be able to keep up with this pace.

It can be as bad of an addiction as heroin, I tell ya. You spend as much money on postage and it just consumes your life.

*sigh*

And makes the people around you miserable sometimes, I think. Erich's already announced that if we are to ever get a house, I will have a room for all of my penpalling stuff. And unless it's going out the door or is paper in a trash bag, it's not allowed to leave the penpalling room. Ever.

Yeah--- it's time to start weedwhacking this hobby. *looks around her at the piles*

Dear fucking god I'm insane.

01 January 2005

*bounces*

I have a little secret that I'm dying to tell, but honestly shouldn't yet because it's not yet an official thing. So instead, I'm going to bounce and be disgustingly girly, and annoying with the "I got a secret" dance.

;)

I failed miserably on drinking in moderation last night. Thankfully Erich was our designated driver. Otherwise we would have been crashing out down in Providence. I was about a shot's worth of alcohol shy of being shitfaced, I believe. I remember some things. I didn't black out. But I was in pretty bad shape last night.

Thankfully, since I mostly stuck to vodka-only drinks, the hangover this morning was pretty mild. The 550 milligram Anaprox pill helped, too. :) And the big glass of water I drank immediately upon waking up this morning (before going back to sleep for four hours).

When I finally (!) woke up for good around 11 a.m., I found myself lightly pinned by the two big gay cats. Colley was on my foot. Gus was curled around him. Fizzy then took the opportunity to come onto the bed and get all flirty. She's been... assertive lately.

After a good hearty breakfast, Erich and I headed down to the Wrentham Outlets to get some clothes for Erich and for me to browse around. They had a wool coat at London Fog that I loved-- it was very Paddington Bear style. But just a bit too small for me. *sigh* I did end up relishing in the joy that was the "all bras for $12" sale at Avenue and got some frilly things that are slightly more upscale than what I normally end up wearing. Erich bought some nice clothes and necessities. We got through ONE AISLE of the outlets in about three hours because we were browsing and just spent our money. That's it-- we didn't even walk around much. Ah well, next time, I guess!

It really was a perfect day to go shopping. The weather was near 50 degrees. It was sunny, but a bit windy. The snow is quickly melting, so in spots there were some slipping worries. But since it's not a wooded area, the sun was getting the snow along the walkways down very quickly. I have to admit, though-- I have this memory of everything being closed on New Year's Day. Maybe I was just home because Dad was always on-call on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day... but I swear I don't remember stores being open. *shrug* It seemed like one of the biggest shopping days of the year! (and honestly, the best sales that you could want).

We grabbed dinner at the Cracker Barrell before heading home. Erich sounds like ass after dealing with a headcold for the past few days, but seems to be rallying. Tomorrow will be a lazy day of watching Patriots football and getting my penpalling stuff done. :)

*bounces again*