Memo to coworkers

When the power goes out at the office, it's not the end of the world. The office is not doomed. We don't get to go home five minutes after it goes off. We don't need flashlights to get around when there is emergency lighting and natural light coming into the building. If you want to go out to Starbucks and get a cup of coffee while it's out, you don't need my permission. No, I don't know if it's affecting the bank down the street. No, I can't get a contract copy off of my computer for you-- as my power's out too. No, really-- we're going to be okay.

Take a deep breath, enjoy your coffee. Make those phone calls you need to make. Clean your office (after all, we're moving in two months). If nothing else, go outside and enjoy the absolutely beautiful spring day out there and take a short walk in the sunshine.

Bottom line... Chill the eff out. It's a fucking power outage. You're all grown human beings. You've seen this before in your lifetime. You'll see it again. So WTF? STFU and deal.

Sincerely,
Your admin, rolling her eyes

Oh, and one more thing... You don't need a flashlight to pee, either. Especially if you're female. And no offense, but if you're using a flashlight while you're peeing, I don't want to touch it afterwards. Nor do I want to know what you're doing with said flashlight in the bathroom.