Family Traditions (revisited)

I originally posted this entry in December of 2001. For the new readers who have joined during Holidailies, my grandmother has since passed, and the traditions are now carried out by my mom, my two aunts, and... starting tomorrow... me.

... What I really love is getting back to tradition-- the familiar holiday celebrations with family that can bring back a flood of memories of holidays past with just the slightest scent of familiar food. In my case, cultural tradition always highlights the holidays, not necessarily religious tradition. My family has a mix of Catholicism, Episcopalianism, Agnostics, and me... the one Pagan in the mix. Rather than make a big stickler in the situation, I prefer to celebrate Yule right along with Christmas, since the religious undertones are quite similar.

My grandparents, my mother, and my uncle came over from Germany after World War II. They are Polish, but were in a relocation camp (like so many thousands of people) after the war since they had no place to go. They were sponsored by a church in Easton, PA, which is now considered my mom's hometown. My grandparents still live there, and have lived the ideal American Dream through years of hard work. The metal plating shop where my grandpa got his job back in the early 1950's is now his company, slowly being passed down to my uncle. Unlike immigrants today who seem to refuse to blend into the melting pot of American society, my grandparents immersed themselves. They had to in order to survive. They learned English, and despite some breaks in grammar and thick accents, speak fluently. They joined a local Catholic church, and go to English-speaking services, even though there is enough of a Polish population in the area that there are Polish-language services available.

Yet even with their immersion, some things of cultural tradition remain sacred. Most of these traditions revolve around Christmas time, and the entire family gets together every year to celebrate because we know how special holding these traditions are. I rarely do a specific ritual for Yule and the rebirth of Father God. Celebrating with family for me is a ritual in itself, and in their own Catholic way, my grandparents open and close a ritual circle of love each year for the family. I am a participant, rather than the leader of this celebration.

Our big celebration is on Christmas Eve, known as the Wigilia. Everyone on my mother's side of the family gets together at my grandparents' house. We usually have around 14-16 people for dinner. Traditionally, one chair at the table is left open for the newborn Christ/God, but with how crowded we've been, it's usually a chair set off to the side these days.

Before dinner, we all are given a large square wafer called an oplatek. Oplatki are similar in consistency to the communion wafers at Catholic and other Christian denominational churches, only rather than about half-dollar sized, they are about the size of an index card. We walk around the table, and each person breaks off a piece of every other person's oplatek. We give each person a kiss or hug, wish them a Merry Christmas, and start the jumbled search around a busy, crowded dinner table to find another member of the family who we haven't hugged. It's a symbolic breaking of bread together, and unifies us as a family.

The traditional Polish Christmas meal consists of tons of potato pancakes, borsht, perogi (which are like ravioli, only they're filled with either potato or sauerkraut), galumpki (cabbage rolls filled with tomato and rice), fruit compote, and typical veggie side-dishes, depending on the cook's mood. No meat is present, but we usually have some sort of fish on the table. I've been told by Italian friends that they have a similar tradition.

After we eat, we sing a few carols. We have fold-out caroling books in case people don't know the words to songs. We usually do the entire song. Each person at the table is encouraged to pick one, and they rotate through Polish and the more familiar English-language songs. I always stumble over the ones in Polish, since I really never learned how to speak it, but fortunately I can get by somewhat with my Russian-language background. Erich's theory is that if he goes and has a couple shots of vodka, his singing will probably fit in just fine on the Polish songs. He's honestly not that far off.

Once we've gone through a few carols, we move into the living room to open gifts from each other. While we're opening presents, the less-immediate family and friends often stop by, singing as they go. Someone's usually dressed up as Santa for the little kids. The carolers pack into the hallway near my grandpa's bar for a couple shots of vodka and salutations for the season. Soon after, they leave for Midnight Mass, and the evening starts winding down as the individual families who aren't going to church start heading home for bed.

Christmas day is much more relaxed for us, with brunch and opening presents at home and such. The afternoon's a bit lazier... we hang out, watch the movies on TV, and goof around with the new gifts we've received. Dinner on Christmas Day rotates between houses, but it'll probably be at my mother's house this year. This dinner is much like Thanksgiving with entirely too much food, and either a turkey or ham for dinner.

Through these traditions, I am able as a Pagan to celebrate the warmth of family love through the darkest days of winter, while my Christian family members can celebrate "the reason for the season" without any interfaith wars coming up at the dinner table. We celebrate, we love, and we share. And just for an evening, everything in the family and in the world seems to come into balance.

Bright Blessings,
Mel. (SilverCat)