So 2004 ends in just over 5 hours from the time I start writing this. It doesn't feel like the end of the year. And unlike last year, where I was literally counting days and then hours until I could see that year turn, I'm neutral this year.
In my personal life, there were no big tragedies, unlike last year. For that, I'm thankful. In the world, however, there were several tragedies-- the largest being only a few short days ago. My silence isn't out of not caring. I literally just can't comprehend it-- it's so overwhelming in scale that I can't process it. My shortcoming is a strong one on this. It's just... too huge.
So, without further adieu... looking back at 2004...
January 2004: I started off this year by drinking myself silly. I think I needed it. The Jeep, after spending two months in the repair shop, arrived back in mid-January. I became the eldest cousin to an adorable baby girl (Amelia), and decided that for the last year of my twenties, I would find some way to live it up a bit... dammit. Oh, and a little thing that had gone on all of 2003 had, well-- a slight glimmer of hope, despite not going too much further since then:
January 11th - 370 days. He [12/31 edit: my father] called me tonight.
February 2004: Pats win the superbowl. :) My sorority chapter celebrates its 20th anniversary (and it took me only a short amount of time to realize many of the current members weren't born yet when it was founded-- eep!). Massachusetts becomes the hotbed of debate on gay marriage, and I have never been more proud to live where I do with the (temporary until 2006) result of that debate:
February 17th - One of the most chilling images I've seen in the last few weeks was a photo in the Boston Globe of a protest in a local town's high school gym. Children between the ages of six and twelve were holding signs condemming homosexuality-- some signs had comments that were-- rather graphic in nature.
March 2004: My attempt to lose weight begins (which ended, of course, in a major ego-bruising). The Pledge of Allegiance becomes a big issue, as the 9th Circuit Court votes it unconstitutional. People claiming it's not religious start emphasizing the words "Under God" every time they say it (riiight, folks). And I do something that I swore at age eleven that I would never, EVER do again. I cut my hair eleven inches shorter. And yes, it's stayed relatively the same length since.
March 29th - My head now bounces. It's an extremely odd feeling. I have this urge to poing around just to feel how it springs against my head. But I think my co-workers would look at me funny.
April 2004: A bonehead move of mine turns out to be the catalyst for two great things in my life. First, I was able to witness my best friend from college get engaged. Second, I managed to make said bonehead move become the easiest way to reintroduce myself to my sorority chapter. :) When in doubt, make sure you miss a cruise-- it's the best way to contact someone. Seriously. :)
April 5th - In the middle of the lit dome entry to Rowes Wharf by the hotel, Joe proposed to Ivanna. A beautiful, simple little proposal-- the words which I missed because I was too busy trying to make sure I got a photo of the event (I did).
May 2004: Erich and I celebrate our third anniversary with an incredibly romantic getaway to Florida. It'll be difficult to top it. :) The month was quiet otherwise, except the pride of being from Massachusetts:
May 17th - Something changed in the USA at midnight-- did you notice?
Probably not, although if you've been watching the domestic news in the last few months, there were opponents to the change who swore that today's landmark would destroy marriage entirely.
Uh-huh.
June 2004: My agony with my weight gets to a hopeless point (in a locked entry). Minarae begins a kick-ass fundraising campaign for Breast Cancer awareness. And my eldest cat scares me half to death for about eighteen hours.
June 26th - Sometime last night, one of the cats managed to get the screen door open-- Gus (somehow) stayed inside... but Fizz and Colley got out.
Erich found Fizz bleating as loud as she could on the balcony directly below us.
Colley hasn't been found.
And I feel sick.
July 2004: I attempt to get myself into the groove to do some personal religious exploration (and failed). A ton of hype in Boston turns out to be nothing as the Democratic National Convention comes to town, and people continue to question the sanity of our elected leaders. And Jeep woes continue.
July 28th - Fuck that. Turned the car around, brought it straight home. I'm not fucking around with engine lights. Broken AC, sure. A bit of weird shifting issues, sure. Once that engine light's on, no... game over.
August 2004: I note a sad anniversary. Tone and Robin are married. Erich turns 30, and I experience two firsts in my life: the strip club, and the casino. They're both very dangerous. :) Now if I could just have naked men in said casino, then I'd be in heaven...
August 9th - Although I have to admit it was both amusing and a bit weird to be sitting across from my boyfriend as he got a lap dance. I just wish I could have seen his expression better-- instead I was getting rather up close and personal views of the girl's crotch.
September 2004: WorldCon. Heh. Geekdom takes over Boston in major style. It was beautiful. And if anyone ever wondered-- you CAN in fact live out of the Pru Mall for 5 days without leaving. It's kinda sad. Meanwhile in the world of online journals-- I get a cold shoulder from a former D-Xer for some unknown reason (other than, I assume, the fact that I don't detest Michael Moore with all of my being like she seems to and make no apologies for being both liberal AND patriotic at the same time). *sigh* I try not to get into the inter-journal drama, but in this case, yeah. It hurt. Both on this person and the one before her that did the same thing. And until now, I haven't said a word. In any case, I don't know what I did to piss them off other than be myself. *shrug* C'est la vie.
September 3rd - I'm sitting at a table directly next to two of my favorite authors-- Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. I know Gaiman's signing books in about 15 minutes-- Pratchett signs sometime later this weekend. They happen to be chatting about Boston cabbies at the moment, and how similar they seem to be in driving insanity to ones in far off places that aren't London (exact quote, mind you)
Thankfully I don't have my copy of Good Omens on me because I'd turn into the total n00b.
October 2004: Ten days without sleep. Ten glorious days without sleep. And hell has frozen over. Dammit, I think all of New England brought its ice skates to enjoy the ride.
October 28th - "AT LAST!
Pigs can fly, hell is frozen, the slipper finally fits,
and Impossible Dreams really can come true.
The Red Sox have won the World Series"
November 2004: The World Series win was pummeled into sobbing on November 3rd. You can tell me to get over it. You can tell me that I'm a stupid liberal. But you cannot EVER make me believe that the immoral, hateful, evil person who was re-elected was the best choice for our nation. Ever. Considering his administration's image is starting to crumble and his innaugural hasn't even arrived yet-- yeah, it's going to be a long, ugly four years. Do I smirk as I work my ass off? On a more personal note-- which was slightly tied to the election, I decided in mid-November that I will be moving my journal to more neutral waters come my birthday.
November 4th - For those who think I'm demon scum and should go to hell for my beliefs... I'm bringing the throw pillows to decorate the hell couch and my stash of drinks for the inevitable fantastic party. I'll have a lot of company from wonderful, hardworking, lifeloving people of all creeds, religions, and nationalities.
December 2004: I visit my brother out in Arizona. I go to my mom's for Christmas, and visit my grandma's grave for the first time since her funeral. I do a lot of personal reflection. It's been a busy month, an emotional month. But a month that has made me realize what a wild trip my twenties have been.
And no... I don't have a highlight December entry. Honestly, I haven't needed one. While I've done a lot of filler entries, a lot of the thought has been going on behind the scenes.
My twenties have been a ride. 2005 brings my thirty-something years. And I'm already looking forward to the new adventure...
Goodbye, 2004.
31 December 2004
I'm a n00b
Yesterday I pulled a first in my eighteen years of being four-eyed: I broke my glasses. Gah. I fell asleep with them on, and since I sleep with my head turned down into a pillow, the tension on the frame made the plastic string that holds one lens onto the frame snap. (I have glasses that don't have a bottom frame edge).
I'd wondered how those glasses kept together. I didn't see screws holding the lens in place like in Erich's frameless ones.
Now I know. You learn something every day, eh?
Anyway... I then went on a blind search for my old glasses so that I could see something. Couldn't find my most recent pair from last year, which are in a case somewhere around the apartment (Probably in a penpalling bin by now *snort*). I did, however, find my old OLD glasses. As in 1993 huge gold frame suckers. (well, at least they're not my pink ones from junior high and high school). I"m surprised that my prescription hasn't changed that much in ten years. My left eye's off a bit, but my right eye is just fine. What amazes me, though, is how heavy these are compared to my current ones. When they say featherweight, they're not kidding. Compared to those, these weigh a ton!
So they're re-stringing my current prescription frames today. I'll have them around noon. (how thankful am I that they don't have to be shipped somewhere for repair like they do for lens cutting?)
Have I mentioned how I want contacts again? I'd kill for them. I never should have gotten out of the habit of wearing them in college. *sigh*
But yeah, I'm grunge-era stylin' right now. I need to be wearing my flannel shirts, grubby X-Files t-shirt and frayed old jeans right now. Then I'd really feel my freshman year in college all over again. Fashion sense, I tell ya.
(because I have so much anyway).
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I still haven't found the upload cord for the digital camera, which is why there are no Arizona (or Pennsylvania... now) pictures up. I did something to the camera while we were in Pennsylvania, and now it refuses to focus. I'm hoping it's just a fix-by-pressing-button-I-don't-know-about and that I can do that over the weekend.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I won't get through 2005. Seriously. So I'm going to be more reasonable and just try to set goals for this weekend. :)
1) Drink in moderation tonight
2) Get laundry done today
3) Beat back the beast that is my penpalling corner (it's scary, I tells ya!)
4) Complete 500 stitches on my current cross-stitch project. (I'd like my center figures to get heads, basically)
5) Clean out my email-- (or at least get rid of stuff from the first 6 months of the year)
6) Hug the cats
7) Figure out the damn digital phone issue
8) Lots of hugs for Erich
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Traditionally, I've done a "Closing Down the Year" entry, but just didn't get around to it this week. I'll probably work on one for later today once I get some chores done.
But if I don't-- I'll sum it up as: 2004 was actually a pretty damn good year. Weight-loss ego bruising aside, it was a good year.
Then again, compared to the "joys" of 2003, anything could be considered a good year for me.
So if I get too frantic as people are oft to do on New Years Eve-- a happy 2005 to everyone. May the new year bring you good memories, closer ties with friends and family, and good health and prosperity.
I'd wondered how those glasses kept together. I didn't see screws holding the lens in place like in Erich's frameless ones.
Now I know. You learn something every day, eh?
Anyway... I then went on a blind search for my old glasses so that I could see something. Couldn't find my most recent pair from last year, which are in a case somewhere around the apartment (Probably in a penpalling bin by now *snort*). I did, however, find my old OLD glasses. As in 1993 huge gold frame suckers. (well, at least they're not my pink ones from junior high and high school). I"m surprised that my prescription hasn't changed that much in ten years. My left eye's off a bit, but my right eye is just fine. What amazes me, though, is how heavy these are compared to my current ones. When they say featherweight, they're not kidding. Compared to those, these weigh a ton!
So they're re-stringing my current prescription frames today. I'll have them around noon. (how thankful am I that they don't have to be shipped somewhere for repair like they do for lens cutting?)
Have I mentioned how I want contacts again? I'd kill for them. I never should have gotten out of the habit of wearing them in college. *sigh*
But yeah, I'm grunge-era stylin' right now. I need to be wearing my flannel shirts, grubby X-Files t-shirt and frayed old jeans right now. Then I'd really feel my freshman year in college all over again. Fashion sense, I tell ya.
(because I have so much anyway).
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I still haven't found the upload cord for the digital camera, which is why there are no Arizona (or Pennsylvania... now) pictures up. I did something to the camera while we were in Pennsylvania, and now it refuses to focus. I'm hoping it's just a fix-by-pressing-button-I-don't-know-about and that I can do that over the weekend.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I won't get through 2005. Seriously. So I'm going to be more reasonable and just try to set goals for this weekend. :)
1) Drink in moderation tonight
2) Get laundry done today
3) Beat back the beast that is my penpalling corner (it's scary, I tells ya!)
4) Complete 500 stitches on my current cross-stitch project. (I'd like my center figures to get heads, basically)
5) Clean out my email-- (or at least get rid of stuff from the first 6 months of the year)
6) Hug the cats
7) Figure out the damn digital phone issue
8) Lots of hugs for Erich
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Traditionally, I've done a "Closing Down the Year" entry, but just didn't get around to it this week. I'll probably work on one for later today once I get some chores done.
But if I don't-- I'll sum it up as: 2004 was actually a pretty damn good year. Weight-loss ego bruising aside, it was a good year.
Then again, compared to the "joys" of 2003, anything could be considered a good year for me.
So if I get too frantic as people are oft to do on New Years Eve-- a happy 2005 to everyone. May the new year bring you good memories, closer ties with friends and family, and good health and prosperity.
27 December 2004
Back from Pennsylvania
This is the short, short version. I'm kinda worn out and just want to be brain dead with Sims or Roller Coaster Tycoon tonight...
I was entirely too lazy to go down to Mom's basement to get on the internet on her computer-- apparently the wireless network is no longer in existence. So no entries this weekend, obviously.
Anyway--- Erich and I returned home from Pennsylvania today. We returned home about two hours ago to find a foot of fresh snow outside. Both the drive down and back were just fine-- very little traffic, considering the holiday.
Christmas was great. Everyone was there. Traditions continue as they did, or are adjusted to reflect the growing and changing family. Yours truly actually MADE pierogi-- GOOD pierogi, rather than the entirely too tough ones that I managed to scrape out in high school. Said accomplishment is thanks to the recipe of my grandmother (which I'll post once I've practiced a few more times to be able to add advice-- they are a bit tricky to do) and help from my mom.
Gifts-- I'm in heaven. As of tomorrow evening, once I deposit gift money, all of my credit cards will be officially paid off. Seriously. I'll still owe Erich money, but the stuff with finance charges will be going away in 24 hours. You have no idea how good that feels. My family rocks. Insert kow-tow here.
More stuff coming later, but I need to unwind and have a Reiki attunement to do this evening. More during my oh-so-busy day at work tomorrow.
Best,
Melissa
I was entirely too lazy to go down to Mom's basement to get on the internet on her computer-- apparently the wireless network is no longer in existence. So no entries this weekend, obviously.
Anyway--- Erich and I returned home from Pennsylvania today. We returned home about two hours ago to find a foot of fresh snow outside. Both the drive down and back were just fine-- very little traffic, considering the holiday.
Christmas was great. Everyone was there. Traditions continue as they did, or are adjusted to reflect the growing and changing family. Yours truly actually MADE pierogi-- GOOD pierogi, rather than the entirely too tough ones that I managed to scrape out in high school. Said accomplishment is thanks to the recipe of my grandmother (which I'll post once I've practiced a few more times to be able to add advice-- they are a bit tricky to do) and help from my mom.
Gifts-- I'm in heaven. As of tomorrow evening, once I deposit gift money, all of my credit cards will be officially paid off. Seriously. I'll still owe Erich money, but the stuff with finance charges will be going away in 24 hours. You have no idea how good that feels. My family rocks. Insert kow-tow here.
More stuff coming later, but I need to unwind and have a Reiki attunement to do this evening. More during my oh-so-busy day at work tomorrow.
Best,
Melissa
23 December 2004
Family Traditions (revisited)
I originally posted this entry in December of 2001. For the new readers who have joined during Holidailies, my grandmother has since passed, and the traditions are now carried out by my mom, my two aunts, and... starting tomorrow... me.
... What I really love is getting back to tradition-- the familiar holiday celebrations with family that can bring back a flood of memories of holidays past with just the slightest scent of familiar food. In my case, cultural tradition always highlights the holidays, not necessarily religious tradition. My family has a mix of Catholicism, Episcopalianism, Agnostics, and me... the one Pagan in the mix. Rather than make a big stickler in the situation, I prefer to celebrate Yule right along with Christmas, since the religious undertones are quite similar.
My grandparents, my mother, and my uncle came over from Germany after World War II. They are Polish, but were in a relocation camp (like so many thousands of people) after the war since they had no place to go. They were sponsored by a church in Easton, PA, which is now considered my mom's hometown. My grandparents still live there, and have lived the ideal American Dream through years of hard work. The metal plating shop where my grandpa got his job back in the early 1950's is now his company, slowly being passed down to my uncle. Unlike immigrants today who seem to refuse to blend into the melting pot of American society, my grandparents immersed themselves. They had to in order to survive. They learned English, and despite some breaks in grammar and thick accents, speak fluently. They joined a local Catholic church, and go to English-speaking services, even though there is enough of a Polish population in the area that there are Polish-language services available.
Yet even with their immersion, some things of cultural tradition remain sacred. Most of these traditions revolve around Christmas time, and the entire family gets together every year to celebrate because we know how special holding these traditions are. I rarely do a specific ritual for Yule and the rebirth of Father God. Celebrating with family for me is a ritual in itself, and in their own Catholic way, my grandparents open and close a ritual circle of love each year for the family. I am a participant, rather than the leader of this celebration.
Our big celebration is on Christmas Eve, known as the Wigilia. Everyone on my mother's side of the family gets together at my grandparents' house. We usually have around 14-16 people for dinner. Traditionally, one chair at the table is left open for the newborn Christ/God, but with how crowded we've been, it's usually a chair set off to the side these days.
Before dinner, we all are given a large square wafer called an oplatek. Oplatki are similar in consistency to the communion wafers at Catholic and other Christian denominational churches, only rather than about half-dollar sized, they are about the size of an index card. We walk around the table, and each person breaks off a piece of every other person's oplatek. We give each person a kiss or hug, wish them a Merry Christmas, and start the jumbled search around a busy, crowded dinner table to find another member of the family who we haven't hugged. It's a symbolic breaking of bread together, and unifies us as a family.
The traditional Polish Christmas meal consists of tons of potato pancakes, borsht, perogi (which are like ravioli, only they're filled with either potato or sauerkraut), galumpki (cabbage rolls filled with tomato and rice), fruit compote, and typical veggie side-dishes, depending on the cook's mood. No meat is present, but we usually have some sort of fish on the table. I've been told by Italian friends that they have a similar tradition.
After we eat, we sing a few carols. We have fold-out caroling books in case people don't know the words to songs. We usually do the entire song. Each person at the table is encouraged to pick one, and they rotate through Polish and the more familiar English-language songs. I always stumble over the ones in Polish, since I really never learned how to speak it, but fortunately I can get by somewhat with my Russian-language background. Erich's theory is that if he goes and has a couple shots of vodka, his singing will probably fit in just fine on the Polish songs. He's honestly not that far off.
Once we've gone through a few carols, we move into the living room to open gifts from each other. While we're opening presents, the less-immediate family and friends often stop by, singing as they go. Someone's usually dressed up as Santa for the little kids. The carolers pack into the hallway near my grandpa's bar for a couple shots of vodka and salutations for the season. Soon after, they leave for Midnight Mass, and the evening starts winding down as the individual families who aren't going to church start heading home for bed.
Christmas day is much more relaxed for us, with brunch and opening presents at home and such. The afternoon's a bit lazier... we hang out, watch the movies on TV, and goof around with the new gifts we've received. Dinner on Christmas Day rotates between houses, but it'll probably be at my mother's house this year. This dinner is much like Thanksgiving with entirely too much food, and either a turkey or ham for dinner.
Through these traditions, I am able as a Pagan to celebrate the warmth of family love through the darkest days of winter, while my Christian family members can celebrate "the reason for the season" without any interfaith wars coming up at the dinner table. We celebrate, we love, and we share. And just for an evening, everything in the family and in the world seems to come into balance.
Bright Blessings,
Mel. (SilverCat)
... What I really love is getting back to tradition-- the familiar holiday celebrations with family that can bring back a flood of memories of holidays past with just the slightest scent of familiar food. In my case, cultural tradition always highlights the holidays, not necessarily religious tradition. My family has a mix of Catholicism, Episcopalianism, Agnostics, and me... the one Pagan in the mix. Rather than make a big stickler in the situation, I prefer to celebrate Yule right along with Christmas, since the religious undertones are quite similar.
My grandparents, my mother, and my uncle came over from Germany after World War II. They are Polish, but were in a relocation camp (like so many thousands of people) after the war since they had no place to go. They were sponsored by a church in Easton, PA, which is now considered my mom's hometown. My grandparents still live there, and have lived the ideal American Dream through years of hard work. The metal plating shop where my grandpa got his job back in the early 1950's is now his company, slowly being passed down to my uncle. Unlike immigrants today who seem to refuse to blend into the melting pot of American society, my grandparents immersed themselves. They had to in order to survive. They learned English, and despite some breaks in grammar and thick accents, speak fluently. They joined a local Catholic church, and go to English-speaking services, even though there is enough of a Polish population in the area that there are Polish-language services available.
Yet even with their immersion, some things of cultural tradition remain sacred. Most of these traditions revolve around Christmas time, and the entire family gets together every year to celebrate because we know how special holding these traditions are. I rarely do a specific ritual for Yule and the rebirth of Father God. Celebrating with family for me is a ritual in itself, and in their own Catholic way, my grandparents open and close a ritual circle of love each year for the family. I am a participant, rather than the leader of this celebration.
Our big celebration is on Christmas Eve, known as the Wigilia. Everyone on my mother's side of the family gets together at my grandparents' house. We usually have around 14-16 people for dinner. Traditionally, one chair at the table is left open for the newborn Christ/God, but with how crowded we've been, it's usually a chair set off to the side these days.
Before dinner, we all are given a large square wafer called an oplatek. Oplatki are similar in consistency to the communion wafers at Catholic and other Christian denominational churches, only rather than about half-dollar sized, they are about the size of an index card. We walk around the table, and each person breaks off a piece of every other person's oplatek. We give each person a kiss or hug, wish them a Merry Christmas, and start the jumbled search around a busy, crowded dinner table to find another member of the family who we haven't hugged. It's a symbolic breaking of bread together, and unifies us as a family.
The traditional Polish Christmas meal consists of tons of potato pancakes, borsht, perogi (which are like ravioli, only they're filled with either potato or sauerkraut), galumpki (cabbage rolls filled with tomato and rice), fruit compote, and typical veggie side-dishes, depending on the cook's mood. No meat is present, but we usually have some sort of fish on the table. I've been told by Italian friends that they have a similar tradition.
After we eat, we sing a few carols. We have fold-out caroling books in case people don't know the words to songs. We usually do the entire song. Each person at the table is encouraged to pick one, and they rotate through Polish and the more familiar English-language songs. I always stumble over the ones in Polish, since I really never learned how to speak it, but fortunately I can get by somewhat with my Russian-language background. Erich's theory is that if he goes and has a couple shots of vodka, his singing will probably fit in just fine on the Polish songs. He's honestly not that far off.
Once we've gone through a few carols, we move into the living room to open gifts from each other. While we're opening presents, the less-immediate family and friends often stop by, singing as they go. Someone's usually dressed up as Santa for the little kids. The carolers pack into the hallway near my grandpa's bar for a couple shots of vodka and salutations for the season. Soon after, they leave for Midnight Mass, and the evening starts winding down as the individual families who aren't going to church start heading home for bed.
Christmas day is much more relaxed for us, with brunch and opening presents at home and such. The afternoon's a bit lazier... we hang out, watch the movies on TV, and goof around with the new gifts we've received. Dinner on Christmas Day rotates between houses, but it'll probably be at my mother's house this year. This dinner is much like Thanksgiving with entirely too much food, and either a turkey or ham for dinner.
Through these traditions, I am able as a Pagan to celebrate the warmth of family love through the darkest days of winter, while my Christian family members can celebrate "the reason for the season" without any interfaith wars coming up at the dinner table. We celebrate, we love, and we share. And just for an evening, everything in the family and in the world seems to come into balance.
Bright Blessings,
Mel. (SilverCat)
Holiday traditions 'n stuff
As I finish the paperwork that I do every year at this time, people stop by in the office to ask what I'm doing for the holidays. They know I'm far from my parents, and ask which ones I'm going to this year. (Pennsylvania, FYI). The traditions at each home vary greatly, based on heritage and the work schedule of each parent. But at some point, I see myself blending a mish-mash of the traditions to form my own.
For now, though, I need to get things done at work. I'll share my family traditions tonight after I get home. I have early release from work today, then I'm going to Boston to donate platelets and meet up with Erich, and then will head home.
Until then-- what are some of YOUR family traditions for the holidays (whichever ones you celebrate)? Please share! :)
~ Mel.
For now, though, I need to get things done at work. I'll share my family traditions tonight after I get home. I have early release from work today, then I'm going to Boston to donate platelets and meet up with Erich, and then will head home.
Until then-- what are some of YOUR family traditions for the holidays (whichever ones you celebrate)? Please share! :)
~ Mel.
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