The Wheel Turns

Blessed Samhain, all. :)

And for those not celebrating that particular part of the holiday, Happy Halloween.

I'm playing the part of Quiet Urban Pagan today. One of my coworkers who knows me quite well took a look at me and asked "So where's your bling for the day?" She saw me in non-descript autumn clothes. The only trace of my Witchy side is my knotwork pentacle pendant around my neck.

But that's who I am.

Over the years, I've found myself distancing from the over-the-top gaudiness that I used to covet in Salem. Sure, it's fun to dress up and "Go Witch" every once in a while. But for the past three years or so, I've moved into a quieter, contemplative type of faith. It started when I stared down at the garnet-jeweled pentacle that I always wore around my neck and wondered exactly what I believed. Was all of my practice just an act to hide who I was? Had I really grown as a person in my faith? Where was my Path going? Did I even belong on a Pagan path anymore?

The answer to the last question was answered for me- a deciding yes. I also discovered, though, that I was resistant to truly digging down in my beliefs and challenging them. It's harder than one might think- but I needed to do it.

I took my pentacle off. I've possibly worn one a handful of times since- and today, I felt I needed to. It feels strange and heavy around my neck. I keep fiddling with it, rubbing the pentacle medallion as if it's charged with something (even though I know that it's not).

I plan to sit for ritual tonight, and see where these quiet thoughts are leading. I don't expect to get answers-- but hopefully I'll get a nudge in the right direction.