Death by chili

Dear Melissa,

Next time, please remember that not all spices are the same. Particularly ones that tend to vary in heat. Like chili powder. We appreciate that you took the initiative to halve your normal amount of chili powder for dinner last night and only put in two tablespoons for the double batch. That was quite thoughtful of you, and we're very grateful for the effort.

But you should have remembered that Indian chili powder may still be far more potent than the normal Durkee stuff from the store. After all, it has that extremely orange-red color, which may or may not actually be an actual warning label (but we think it is). We're really not quite sure what you were thinking, but needless to say, the dividing of the recipe, two tablespoons sugar, extra 28 oz of tomatoes, full can of tomato paste, 7 additional tablespoons of cocoa powder, and two additional tablespoons of cumin helped make it somewhat edible.

But still, ow. Really. Ow.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you at work today.

Sincerely,

Your Innards