Wedding planning update

Because coordinating two moves and being the webmaster for JournalCon isn't enough on my plate right now... heh...

Mom's visit this past weekend opened up some issues and discussion on the wedding... and I have things that need to be done sooner than later.

The first being a quick speed-up of organizing MY side of the wedding party.
The second being that we'll have to get the basic reservations done sooner than my original thought of mid-August, and probably starting that in late June before we even have the house up and running completely.

Quick backstory-- in early March, Erich and I went to Pennsylvania to attend my grandpa's 80's birthday party.. On the day we were leaving, Mom had everyone over for brunch, and I decided to pull Marya, my 9-year-old (going on 18) cousin, aside for a moment to ask her whether she'd be more comfortable as a flower girl or a bridesmaid.

I asked this because two of her sisters are going to play the roles of flower girls, and Marya's so tiny that even at her age, she could fit in the same category. But mentally, I know that Marya tends to want to be a bit more grown up-- I wanted to leave it up to her, and then I could tell Erich how many women/girls were on my side, so he could think of who he wanted to stand with him.

Said question was asked very close to when we left PA. I don't recall if my cousin Katie was even THERE that day. But we were in the eat-and-get-going rush, and I didn't mention anything to Katie at that time, since I didn't have the wedding party pinned down.

But I KNEW where I wanted her to stand (and probably so do my readers by now).

Remember-- this is early March.

Fast forward two weeks later - a house gets thrown unexpectedly in the picture and takes over all wedding plans completely, putting them on hold and literally in the back of my mind.


Okay... now that the backstory is in place...

Erich, Mom and I are on our way to Sears on Sunday to look at appliances. Mom's very worried about the condition of the stove in the house because Anna (who sold us the house) mentioned she was having trouble with the oven knob. And unlike Erich and I, Mom can't live with the rather dated avacado fridge and stove that are in the house... so she wants to go appliance hunting, and has talked to my dad, who also responded "ew." to the color, and they're going halvsies on this.

(*shrug* sure... because we're going to be stupid enough to complain or say no in this situation)

Mom mentions that my Aunt Gail has approached her recently- apparently Marya (being nine) went and started getting a bit boastful to Katie (who I hadn't approached yet), and Katie's feelings were very hurt because she thought she was being snubbed.

*forehead slap*

I should have seen this coming, by the way. It's my own damn fault. Marya, being the eldest child of the the baby daughter, has been THE prize grandchild. I might have been the first grandchild, but I grew up 2,500 miles away. Katie was the first-born to be raised there, and had the grandparents all to herself for many years... but once Marya arrived, Katie really got shoved out of the picture and didn't know how to cope with it. It might be stupid or petty, but I can understand Katie's point of view on this because in many ways, her irritation with it is VERY valid, and has shown up at moments that just are not right (i.e. grandma's death). But I don't notice unless I'm around both of them at the same time and something comes up, simply because I'm not living there.

So well, shit. I don't want Katie's feelings to be hurt. I didn't intend them to be hurt. I was just asking Marya her preference because I was trying to get rid of issues and questions before I started formally asking people. And then a house got in the way. I tell Mom that I promise to give Katie a call this week and apologize and explain things to her.

And then on my way over to the World's Largest Dungeon game on Monday night after work, I realize that I really need to just get my entire side of the wedding party decided and ask them. So there's no more of these miscommunications. It was already partially decided anyway, so on the way to the game, I formalized my side of the party, allowing for some flexibility depending on what Erich wanted to do.

Mind you-- I'm leaving Erich's completely up to him, with only one request-- that my brother be a groomsman. I know that Scott was very hurt when my dad didn't ask him to be his best man for his 2nd wedding (and they had no extended bridal party-- just the maid of honor and best man). For me to snub him would be entirely wrong. It's not appropriate for Scott to be Erich's best man, since he doesn't know him beyond one meeting. But still...

So I mention that to Erich, and he's putting together his side of the party.

And now I need to make that phone call to Katie, to apologize, explain what REALLY was intended that day, and formally ask her (and call Vicky regarding Marya, Elizabeth, and Clarissa's roles... so there's no more confusion there). And given her role, it affects the wedding date-- because Katie's starting college in the fall, and I want to make sure that there aren't conflicts with her finals in college, since we're planning a May wedding.

THAT is one of the projects for this Saturday.

Researching wedding officiants, reception halls, etc. is the other.

Oh yeah, and actually picking a date.

One of these days, you know... I might want to get around to that little detail.

Gah.