Love.

I've been trying to figure out a good entry for Valentine's Day. A letter to Erich? Using the format that Minarae used for her Feb. 12th entry? Talking about how I can sympathize with the Black Monday mentality about the holiday?

I'm finding that I can't shoot a letter to Erich from the hip right now. Far too many things to say, but no words to express them. And some things which I'd simply rather show him now than write about in my journal.

Format from Min's entry? It's a wonderful idea... until my current living situation gets put into play.

Black Monday? I don't want eggs (or the equivalent mental spam) thrown at me in my journal by the angry single folks out there who hate the holiday. I do sympathize. Which is why I always get a room.


But I have to write about SOMETHING. It's somewhat obligatory, yes?

I'm not sure. I'm on completely new territory this Valentine's Day. Things have moved past the cutesy hearts that say "Be Mine" on them and little stuffed animals with corny, sappy sayings on them. Not that I object to sappy, romantic, cheesy stuff at times-- but you know what I mean. Hallmark Holiday rosewater and such.

Rings change the perspective of Valentine's Day a bit. In a good way. In a more complicated, rich way. It's not so much a day to impress as a day to celebrate the bond of love in all of its delicate layers.

"Be Mine" has turned into "You Complete Me."

What words can I really express to expand on You Complete Me?

Little things-- stuff that people other than Erich might not understand. Hell, even Erich might not understand why a particular thing strikes me. But it's those little things that all add up to the collective whole. His purchase of tulips and irises last year for Valentine's Day instead of roses... the calls to see if I want coffee from Marylou's when he's on his way home... being willing to pick up the penpalling mail at the post office... the enveloping cuddles in bed... his love of cats...

They all add up. And so many things just have no words to express.

I'm starting to realize that this is one of the reasons why formal unions may or may not work in the long term-- that commitment between two people needs to have things that are so deep that words can't express it. Or things so infinite that they cannot be spoken. There needs to be room to constantly explore, to grow-- both as individuals and as a couple. If the opportunities of exploration stop, then the relationship will wither from the lack of new growth.

I've had the rare opportunity to be able to actually look back and see my mental state from before my relationship with Erich until the present. I started my online journal two months before I met him. To my eyes, at least, I see dramatic changes in how I view the world and myself. It's a good thing. And it surprises me. I used to roll my eyes at the people who commented that their significant other completed them. I didn't get it. I thought they were being overly romantic and sappy.

But I think in the last couple years-- once Erich and I moved past the "just dating" phase to really starting a life together -- I've started to get it.

I Love Him.

I'm A Better Person Because of Him.

He Completes Me.



Yeah, I get it.