Stupid clothing rant

After work tonight, I convinced Erich to head over to the Warwick Mall so I could go to Lane Bryant to grab a new pair of jeans. He agreed quickly because he needed to stop by LensCrafters anyway... and off we went.

So I go in to Lane Bryant, and immediately notice that they have some new trendy "fit yourself to the perfect jean" thing on the wall. Three cuts, based on your waist to hip size. Okay, fine. And here's where it gets annoying - because all of the sizes are now untraditional. So you HAVE to have a salesperson help you to find your size because they have to measure your waist in a similar vein to measuring bras.

*groan*

okay. Fine.

So she gets my size - blue 5. Fine. Whatever. She grabs that and the next size down, a blue 4, and we head to the dressing room.

And I try on the blue 5s. They fit pretty snuggly. They're that effing elasticized denim. And they feel, eh... okay, I guess. But a lot tighter than I prefer to wear jeans. And a bit itchy because they're those elasticized ones and haven't been washed yet.

I'm not thrilled.

And so I go out of the dressing room. She tells me that she thinks they're too big (?!?), and that I should try on the four.

I really disagree with this concept - because I already feel these are too tight. But I humor her. I can't even BUTTON the other ones. I don't even bother to try the universal "OMG get these jeans on" pull. Because if I do manage to get them buttoned, I'm going to have a seriously unflattering camel toe syndrome going on in these things. And that? Ew.

Fuck that. I already think these "5s" fit snuggly.

So I get dressed in my workclothes and come out. Shake my head about the fours and flat out state that I couldn't button them, and that I'm mixed on the fives and want to go bigger. She claims they're going to stretch out - that everyone has brought the jeans back because they stretch out too wide.

And I say, "well, that's good. Because I don't think I'm liking this narrow cut."

Mind you - there's no more relaxed fit jean left in the store- the cut I've been wearing happily and religiously for years. Nice and roomy, comfy, easy to lounge in. And regular denim. All of the jeans are now this elasticized stuff. All based on waist to hip size. Am I the only plus sized woman out there that isn't digging this elasticized denim thing? I mean - it hugs to every flaw in your body. And at a size 26, I have quite a few flaws here. It makes me feel like I'm wearing leggings... which at my size should be banned from anything other than the gym and slacking around the house because they're just awful.

I don't want bootcut. I don't want flare. I just want a basic pair of comfy jeans. Straight leg, roomy fit in the thigh so I can sit down comfortably without my underwear showing in the back.

Is this too much to ask?

And I honestly needed to buy a pair of jeans so I'll have some for tomorrow evening. (and the rare wear-jeans-to-work day tomorrow).

The salesclerk - and the manager - stated that if I didn't like them, I can bring them back post wearing.

*sigh* I caved in and bought a pair - a lighter pair, thank you (because apparently that uber-dark indigo is back in style again... but I refuse to wear Wrangler cowboy new jeans color on a matter of principle). I'm not happy with the purchase, though. I'm going to be making sure to save all tags and receipts - because I do expect these to be heading back early next week.

Had they not have been closed, I probably would have swung by the Avenue to see if they had any normal jeans. They do on their website. But I've been hit-or-miss with their cuts in their store.

Grrrr....

Can't we slightly more conservative early 30's gals just have some decent clothes that are between uber-tight teenager crap and the mumu lazy older woman housedrss stuff?

Please?