Being a "macoddity"

My new job is going well so far. I'm settling in, and for the most part am finding my way around both the style guidelines that I need to follow and finding my way around the office. I still don't know most people's names, but some are starting to stick. I know that will happen with time.

I did find it amusing that the very night I go out with my old workmates last week for drinks - something I wound up having to avoid doing while I was working at that job due to false accusations about not putting in the correct number of hours - I get both a phone call and an email from my old boss asking me to come in to help in the evenings, since they still haven't hired a new admin. Never mind the fact that I made that offer twice before I left the job and didn't get an answer one way or the other until I contacted my boss during the last day that I was there to see what I should do about my ID and such on my way out the door. She said she'd get in contact with the internal temp agency to send me paperwork-- which wasn't done until the same day she called me last week. It takes three weeks to do that? Sounds like... exactly the kind of crap that I put up with for years.

My guess is that it finally hit that I did, in fact, do a crapload of work at that job. Now no one's there to do the work, and the shit is finally hitting the fan. Which makes me sad in some ways because I do care for the majority of the people I used to work with, and I don't want their lives to be hellish at work because there's no admin there. But then again, with the exception of only a few people... I never felt like I was supported. Appreciation was uncommon. Civility became uncommon over the last four months. I was always fighting from a corner, always on my own, and always at the bottom of the barrel where all of the shit flowed. It made me horribly depressed, both at work and away from it. I really was just going through the motions of life for the past year, trying to survive until my wedding so I could leave. In the end, I just couldn't push myself to endure all of the bullshit. I was sick of going home in tears, crying to Erich about how I just couldn't understand why it had to be this way. But in the end, it just... did. My manager played a lousy hand, and I called the bluff by getting a new job.

Since the week of Thanksgiving, I've realized just how bad my mental state really was at that job. As soon as I got the call last week, I started feeling the anxiety and the panic about dealing with her all over again. I think that was the wake-up call sign about what I should do, not to mention some strong doubts about how this really would work out, and how long in reality such a position would last. I mean-- I gave my notice well over a month ago, and they haven't hired even a temp to come in? Let's just say that I'm not exactly trusting that this would be a temporary position. I'm already trained to do the job. I forsee that I'd be getting dumped with the work for a long time to come-- only this time with no bennies.

Thankfully, I can honestly say that my new job is keeping me too busy. I've stayed late over half of the days I've been working there so far. It's the start of one of the busier seasons in my new industry, and lots of projects are needed to go out the door ASAP. I couldn't guarantee steady hours over there even if I wanted to-- which I honestly don't.

It's great to feel wanted, and that the work that I do is valued-- but in this case, it was way too little, way too late. I've moved on to much better things, and I don't regret it for a single second.



(title reference comes from a rather... odd... cartoon short here. Funny... with some great one-liners that have become very common in our gaming group.)