Thanksgiving Zen...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :)

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Grif: Hey Sarge, how's the big dinner coming?

Sarge: Well there's seven of us, so I thought one turkey wouldn't cut it.

Church: Yeah I can see how only three pounds of meat would leave us unsatisfied.

Sarge: Are you familiar with the turducken?

Grif: Yeah, that's what I do when I visit the monkey house at the zoo and make 'em mad.

Simmons: Not turd ducking, a turducken. It's a chicken in a duck in a turkey.

Church: You know, because the holiday isn't quite gluttonous enough on its own.

Grif: Sounds awesome, is that what we're having?

Sarge: Nope. Although impressive, I decided they stopped short when designing the turducken.

Church: Yeah. They seemed like real underachievers there.

Sarge: So I decided to make my own variety.

Church: What's that, a pull-cat stuffed in a possum?

Sarge: Nope, first we start with a hummingbird- (a picture of a hummingbird appears next to Sarge)

Grif: A what?

Sarge: Put that in a sparrow (picture of a sparrow), stuff them both in a Cornish hen (picture of a cooked hen), then put that in a chicken (picture of a guy in a chicken suit). Put all that in a duck (picture of a mallard duck), then in a turkey (hand-drawn picture of a hand turned in to a turkey), then in a bigger turkey (picture of Michael Moore again).

Grif: Two turkeys?

Sarge: Hey, it's Thanksgiving. Put that in a penguin (picture of some penguins), stuff that in a peacock (picture of the NBC logo from the '70s), then an eagle (picture of an eagle), shove it all in an albatross (picture of an albatross in flight), then an emu (that well-known picture of an emu's head, head on), next comes an ostrich (picture of a running ostrich), then a leopard (picture of a sleeping leopard)! Put all that in a pterodactyl (artist's rendering of a pterodactyl), and then stuff it in a Boeing 747 (picture of a 747).

Church: ... Cool. I get a wing.

Simmons: I call the turbine.

Sarge: Alright! Hunker up boys, hey Grif! What kinda meat do you like? First class, or coach?

Church: You know if we cook this thing at three hundred and fifty degrees at ten minutes a pound, it's not gonna be done for eleven years.

Sarge: That's why we're going to deep fry.


Sound of an oil tanker's horn going off *
Sarge: There's the oil now!

Simmons: What was that leopard for?

Sarge: Presentation.

- From Red vs. Blue